Glors Galore

If Jesus had been born in 2011, a modern birth portrayal

2012-01-03T09:08:00.003-05:00

Most of you know I'm pretty intent and gung ho about natural births, least invasive medical involvement during pregnancy and birth, and so on. So, I got to thinking about Mary, about baby Jesus, about her birth in a stable. I don't think the stable was that much dirtier than the home, bedroom counterparts of that day. I mean they were made of mud, stone, dirt, etc. But, giving birth alone, with animals and a (let's be honest) clueless, brand-new husband as your only companions? Probably sucked, but Mary was a trooper right?

But, what if Mary had been pregnant and given birth in 2011? What would that birth look like? A whole, heck of a lot different that's for sure! Let's take a look...

--Scene: Doctor's office.----
Doctor (sarcastically): Soooo Mary, you said you're still a virgin eh? You've never had sex huh? Well, the test shows otherwise honey. You're definitely pregnant.

Mary: Well, I uh, I know, I said I was told I was going to be pregnant. But, um, yes, I'm not even married yet.

Doctor: Dear, we don't all have to be married to have sex or be pregnant. I just take care of the ones that are. Now, are you feeling okay? Does your mind seem to be a little off lately? Have you had any strange thoughts? Maybe you just don't remember the night you got pregnant, a little partying perhaps? (writes "watch mental status" in Mary's chart.) I could always have you talk to someone about it, or if you've always had some strange thoughts maybe we can get you some pills.

Mary: Um, no, no it's fine. I just must not remember clearly...

---A few months, a small wedding to Joseph, a lot of whispers and gossip later: A mid-pregnancy ultrasound.---

Tech: So, here's the heart, looks great. Brain looks fine. Measurements seem normal. Would you like to know the gender?

Mary: It's a boy, I'm having a son.

Tech: That's right! How did you know? Did you see it on the screen? I didn't even get there yet.

Mary: Uh..no, God told me.

Tech: Oh, I see. Well, anyhow, it definitely is a boy. Do you have a name picked out yet?

Mary: We're naming him Jesus.

Tech: Jesus eh? I haven't heard that one before and I've heard a lot of names, lots of strange ones too. Where'd you get that one? What does it mean?

Mary: It means "Savior, Messiah, God delivers". Jesus is the Son of God.

Tech: Huh...Son of God eh? Interesting. Well, I don't see any halos or blinding lights or angel wings on this baby, far as my ultrasound wand can see. Hehehe.

---Mary begins labor---

Mary: Joseph, I'm having contractions, it's time to go.

At the hospital....

Nurse: Sorry honey, it's pretty full in there tonight, guess it's a popular night for having a baby. I'll have to have you sit out here in the waiting room for a bit until I clean out a triage room.

Little while later....

Nurse: (Reading Mary's chart) So, you have a "special" baby in there eh? How have you been feeling? Have you had any strange thoughts lately, I mean besides the angels and Son of God stuff?

Mary: I'm having contractions, I'm in pain, can I please have a drink of water? Can I get up to use the bathroom?

Nurse: Nope. You stay laying in bed until the doctor comes to check you. And hold still so I can put this IV in.

Mary: IV? Why? For what?

Nurse: In case we need to give you fluids, pain meds, or if you need surgery, that sort of stuff. It's easier access for us, it's a lot quicker. What's your pain level right now anyway?

Mary: A 5 I guess.

--OB enters--

Doctor: Ok Mary, so let's see where yu're at. We'll check you every few hours and see where you're at with this baby. I've heard a lot about this baby, anything special I should know, besides him being the "Son of God" haha. (Winks at Joseph) You God then Joseph?

Well, you're at a 4. If you're having a lot of pain, I can give you a shot of something, put something in your IV, until you're a bit further, then we can give you an epidural and you won't feel a thing.

Mary: I just want a drink of water and to use the bathroom please.

Doctor: Oh no, no water. You might need a c-section or something, so nothing goes in your stomach. I'll buzz the nurse, she can come back and help you move that IV pole and go to the bathroom.

Nurse enters...

Nurse: Hey Mary, you gotta use the bathroom eh? Well let's get you over there. You know, if you get an epidural we'll give you a catheter so you don't feel the need to go and won't even know when you're going. It's great.

Mary: Great? not feeling half my body is great?

Nurse: Sure is! Then giving birth is a breeze, well unless the baby gets stuck, or you're pelvis is too small-say you are pretty tiny thing, it might happen to you. You want me to call the anesthesiologist now for that epidural?

Mary: No, I'm okay right now. Joseph's helping me handle it and I'm praying and using some massage.

Nurse: Yeah, praying, praying it's over right? haha! Well, you buzz me when you're ready for those meds.

--Few hours later--

Doctor: You're at 10 Mary. Let's start pushing.

Mary: I have felt like pushing for an hour! They wouldn't let me until you were here!

Doctor: Well, let's get to it. You have an hour to get this baby out or we'll have to talk other options, I mean you've been in labor for 11 hours now.

Mary (under her breath): And yet you've made it feel like eternity! Hope the Son of God redeems you before I do!

After pushing for an hour and a half..

Doctor: Come on Mary! Get this baby out. Push harder. I don't know, maybe the baby's just too big. Maybe your pelvis is too small...we might need to start talking c-section. Nurse, check her IVs.

Mary: No! I can do this. I need to sit up, I need to change my position. Laying down just isn't working for me.

Doctor: Well honey, you standing up doesn't work for ME! I need to see what's going on and this is the best angle. So, let's try this again. Go!

Mary: What are we, in a friggin barn? Why can't I give birth the way I want to? Arrrgghh!

Doctor: That's it! There ya go, get mad!

---Finally, baby Jesus is out---

Nurse: It's definitely a boy!

Mary: Oh can I see him? Can I have him?

Doctor: first we need to wash him off a bit, I need to suction him out some more. Then we'll weigh him and let you have him for a bit.

Mary: I can wipe him off, please can I see his face?

Nurse: Here's a quick peek honey, I'm taking him over here to the isolette to get warm and clean. He weighs 7lbs and 12 oz.

Mary: (to herself) I'm warm, I think I could keep him warm. *Sigh*

Doctor: Hmm, we need to take him to the NICU, he seems to be, well "shining" a bit. We don't know what this means. We need to get some blood work and hook him up to monitors and we'll see what else.

Mary: I told you, he's Jesus, the Son of God. Please give me my baby and let me hold him.

Doctor: Do you want us to circumcise him while he's back there with us?

Mary: Well, we are Jewish, and usually have a ceremony for that....

Doctor: Oh I'll just do it quick today in case there are other things we need to take care of, like this shining thing.

Mary: Um, my religious beliefs...I want to have the ceremony, not in the hospital...

Doctor: Fine, I won't do it today. We'll let you know when we find something out about this shining thing, and his heart seems a bit big for a newborn...hopefully we won't have to transfer him to the special children's hospital a few hours away.

Mary: Of course his heart is big...my baby is fine, there's nothing wrong with him. I'd like him to stay here with me.

Doctor: well, these are normal procedures and protocol for when something doesn't go just right, the way we expect in a birth. And we'd better give you a shot, some pitocin to contract the uterus and some vitamin K, you seem a bit pale and tired, we'll check our blood too.

Mary: I just had a baby, of course I'm tired! Have you ever pushed a baby out?

Doctor: Well, um, no I'm a male, that's your job.

Mary: I'm fine! My baby is fine. Just please leave him here and let us have some time.

Doctor: I'm worried about your mental status Mary, you've made some far-fetched claims about this pregnancy and baby, and something is a bit off with him. Maybe we need a psych visit and some more blood work. Do you regularly take anything? Vitamins, supplements or illegal drugs?

....I'd like to think at this point, Joseph steps in and the doctor backs off... Of course the hospital really went into a frenzy when the wise men came to visit...

Exciting reruns

2012-01-02T23:02:00.003-05:00

I admit that I didn't think that living through all the baby and toddler accomplishments and milestones for a second time, wouldn't be that thrilling. But, guess what? It IS still as exciting and fun the second time around. The crawling, walking, was fun, and expected. This toddler stuff, the conversations he comes up with though, are entertaining and so much fun.

I remember Kian as this same age, just over 2 years old, because I really thought of him in depth as he became a 'big' brother. It's interesting to see Karter in a different light, because he's a different person, but also because he's not on the verge of becoming a big brother (no, not yet, despite what Kian and I hope for!) so he still has time to be that "baby". He knows he's still small enough and adorable enough to ask for skittles after each potty trip. And to snuggle in with mama, twisting my hair and making his big blue eyes just so, to get to stay up later.

But, he is making sure we all know he is not a baby. His favorite thing to say is "I not baby, Kian a big boy, I a little boy". So true. His second favorite, and most often heard phrases are: Me do this, and No me! He wants to keep up with everything Kian does. He scales counters and playground equipment like nothing. This week, he decided he did not want to be dressed any longer. So, he taught himself how to get dressed. Underwear, pants, undershirt, shirts, socks, babylegs, shoes, everything. He just decided it and it was done. I was pretty impressed. I didn't think I'd be impressed as I was watching my firstborn accomplish such things, but nope, still very much impressed! Also, impressive was his choice of outfit today: not one, not 2, but THREE pairs of babylegs (two football and one fire truck) on each leg. Thomas pj shirt, no pants. And he refused to let us help him put each pair on. The first time I've seen his legs look chubby!

When Karter is mad at me, he calls me "mean old man mommy!" No idea where he got that from! It's hard to not laugh at that one. He's learned the word 'stupid', which is so bad, and he knows how to use it appropriately. He also uses it as a term of endearment--'thank you stupid mommy'. Um, no! Ignoring it is the only thing that works, seriously, even acknowledging it makes it 100 times worse.

Watching Kian and Karter play and interact, just gets better every day. They can actually play for a long time, creating scenes and plots and dialogue. It's wonderful to watch, and sometimes they even let me in. He's very much his own person, with likes and dislikes apart from the rest of us (can we say peanut butter every hour of the day? tractors and hair!) and is full of it and definitely lets us know what he wants and when and how. He's joining Kian's "baby sister bandwagon" and even wanted to bring our friends' new baby home with us last week. But, he's still the little boy for now (don't call him a baby!) and we're enjoying watching his new milestones and conversations develop, as his own, apart from Kian's accomplishments, even if they occur at the same age. I know why people want a lot of kids, these are the ages that aer so enjoyable and to think it could be the last time to experience that would be sad! Luckily, it's 3:1 for another baby in this house, poor Kevin.

Conversations with Kian and Karter

2011-12-15T14:21:00.002-05:00

Kian: Mom these are my escape artist shoes.
Me: Your what?
Kian: My escape artist shoes. My feet slip out and my shoes escape!

Karter (at 10pm): TV! TV on!
Me: No! It's bedtime!
Karter: Mean old man, mommy.
Me: What??
Karter: Mean old man, mommy!! Get new one.
Me: Get a new what?
Karter: New mommy!

Kian: I am going to make the Christmas gift lists. What for Paul? How about hunting boots? (Draws a boot)
Me: Well...Paul doesn't hunt.
Kian: Well, he can. He can hunt for warthogs, wild hogs and turkeys for making turkey bacon.
Me: ...Okay...
Kian: Now, he needs a gun. How do you spell gun? (Sounds it out, writes G-U-N)
Me: Yeah...if you say so ;)

Full and empty

2011-12-13T20:41:00.002-05:00

My brain is full. My plate is full. My gas tank is empty. Eesh. Not a great combo. This is one year I haven't been super excited for the holidays. Very behind on all things holiday: cards, cookies, baking buns, decorating (saved only by my mom's help) and so on. I am way behind on gifts and shopping as well. I have no idea how this underline got turned ona nd it won't turn off! grr.

Anyways, my point is that I hate feeling empty. I hate my plate being so full. But, as they say, you have to be emptied so you can be filled. Same goes for my septic and toilet pipes too I guess. But they're cleaned out and so is my wallet. Ah well, such is life. So, now everything's empty, so we're going to wait for the filling to begin.

I really like 4

2011-12-01T22:50:00.003-05:00

Yeah I know, I haven't touched my blog in ages. Sorry. Life happens, is happening, keeping up with house and yard and kids and animals and just...life. Computer facetime comes much later at night when my creativity isn't flowing.

Anyways. I like 4. I really like 4. Four years old is amazing. I really, really did not like three years old. That was a really rough year. (Interestingly, Karter is making 2 a challenge, when Kian was easy as pie at two; of course.) But, this year 4, it's so much better.

Kian amazes us, and himself, daily. I can see it. His vocabulary, sentence structure, it's so advanced and he truly believes he's 10 at times, and I almost could be convinced at times. His pronunciation has always been great, but the conversations blow me away lately. He asked me to describe dinner, called me 'lovely Mommy' and asked what spices I put on the rice, etc. The conversations we have about God, death, heaven, he gets so much and wants to understand so much. (I don't believe there's any benefit from really hiding a lot of things just because of his age, we just tailor it.) He really 'gets' the way things work, and will work at figuring it out, with toys or legos or electronics, anything.

Not only his behavior and attitudes have improved, his drawing and writing are looking good. I was a bit worried at his crazy left-hand grasp (which is still weird, but we're working on it) but he draws people and animals and mangers and randomly will write "Neenee" on stockings so I think no worries needed. He's getting back to his sweet self. Of course we still have normal challenges of childhood, but it's so much better than three years old.

I love seeing Kian help Karter with tasks, sharing with him, reading to him, teaching him how to do things, yes even the naughty things. The realization that others have feelings, the world is affected, outside his own self... I just am enjoying Kian so much more lately, and I love it. I love that baby stage, but each day a whole new world opens up, as we are playing Go Fish and Rummy and "big kid" stuff that we can enjoy as a family. He's so helpful and wanting to learn to do other 'big kid' stuff, like helping Kevin with tools also. I just love watching him grow and change and mature. He just warms my heart. Glad to know despite the crazy days, and in spite of me, he's growing right...

Fall Happenings

2011-10-20T09:19:00.002-04:00

We seem to go through spurts of busyness and quiet times. Kian has been in Great Start preschool since second week of September and really enjoys it. Fridays are the more kindergarten type focus for the older kids, and Mondays and Wednesdays they do more group and art work. He's making some friends and loves his teachers. My only complaint is their excessive use of purell on every child all day long. Ugh. Especially at snack time. They've had a field trip to the apple farm and yesterday was the pumpkin patch trip. I left Karter at home with NeeNee for the pumpkin trip. Less for me to watch and easier for Kian to hang with the big kids.

The weather is a constant change, some days 70 and sunny and other days 45 and blowing rain. We get out when we can, and have been utilizing all our craft supplies as well as the library a lot more. Kian can't wait for snow and Christmas, I can definitely hold off on snow for awhile yet! The boys think it's the greatest thing when I let the put on their rubber boots and go stomp in puddles. So do I, actually.

The weather hasn't changed the chicken's laying habits yet though. Despite the creeping darkness earlier eacfh night, they're still laying regularly. I get 6-8 eggs per day. They each lay almost daily, which I keep reading isn't always the norm. I credit their free range ways. Although lately, they've had to be locked up more, as they keep running in neighbors' yards and fly out of their pen! We keep the well fed from the house-their favorites beign squash and watermelon. They also love pasta, beans and grapes. They ate the pumpkin seeds like little cyclone vacuums! Still very sweet and friendly and easy to pick up. Now they will stop and squat down if you come to pick them up, instead of running away. I tell them to run from the boys, but they don't' listen.

Karter now has quite the vocabulary and little running mouth. The downfall is that he has picked up the word stupid (our downfall when yelling at animals or drivers) and constant ignoring it is the only thing that works. Unfortunately he knows how to use it properly. Ugh. He's quite the athlete already, spiraling footballs and catching them, begging to go to Kian's football camp when Kian does not want to go. He loves puzzles and animals and tractors. Oh the tractors. He sleeps with 1-3 each night. Usually I make him park them under his bed. But, sometimes I find them in his bed with him. I love seeing the differences in their likes/dislikes, as Kian was more into trains at this age, maybe because he didn't have any tractors yet, but he didn't form attachments like Karter has. He's been going on some bad sleeping patterns the last couple weeks and now that he can open doors, makes it harder to keep him in bed!

Kian, ever the great sleeper, has been starting to read. Forget that dumb flashcard stuff, we haven't forced him into anything, or pushed him, other than when he asked, and he does well with the phonics type learning. He is reading and sounding out words in all the Dr. Seuss books and is quite proud of himself. He also began reading the bank drive thru signs and other things around town. There goes spelling things and keeping things hidden from him. It's amazing to see these growths and changes and milestones. It's a bittersweet type of thing, because then he's not a baby anymore, and to realize how things change and open up once you become a reader... Craziness.

Kevin's still busy, eye deep into 5linx and training. He's building quite a team of reps under him, which eventually will pay off for him/us. He'll be happy once it does so he can stop getting up at 4:30am. We'll be happy to have him here more often. Last night, he got home early and after dinner he and the boys went to the garage to build a cat tree/stand. Karter insists on playing football with him all the time. Kian just always wants to help him and be wherever he is. The boys spent the past weekend with my mom while we went to a wedding. It was Karter's first time away from me/us for more than a few hours. He did great and enjoyed it, they both didn't want to leave. It was nice to wake up ourselves instead of by jumping children, and to eat breakfast in quiet and hear ourselves talk. We did miss them though. The weekend before, I had a chance to help out a photographer at a wedding. I had so much fun! I don't know if the pictures I took were even good, but it was a learning experience and fun to play around and do something grown up, with all adults all day, and feel like I was working again. =)

We're rounding the bend into the holiday season, and with that comes a lot more changes. There's been a lot of changes in both sides of the families and therefore, changes to holidays were necessary. We're going to host Thanksgiving here with our immediate families, smaller than past years, but for Kevin and I, it will be less stressful and incorporate the immediate families and be easier for us to handle. His working so much and having to worry about animals and such, gets hectic, let alone the boys all over into everything.

Speaking of animals... Finn hates us. He has been banished indefinitely to Kourtney's house. I brought him back to our house last Thursday morning. He and Karter were happy to see each other, but then Finn just laid around and wouldn't play with Windsor. He behaved well, as long as he knew the remote/shock collar was on. I didn't have to use it at all, just put it on. Friday night he was testing me and not listening to come back in the house so I did buzz him. Saturday, right as we were leaving for the wedding he acted like he had to go out, and I had taken the collar off, no big deal I thought. Except, he looked at me and took off. That was that. WE had to leave and my mom was worrying about the boys and car seats, so when the humane society called the house to say they had Finn, AGAIN, he was stuck there. We asked Kourt to go get him, and they gave her some threats about fines and judges, etc. since it was his third (at least) time being there. He just doesn't seem to want to stay here and we have 6 stinking acres for crying out loud! So, for now he's back with his doggy parents and Kourt and Jeremy. I miss him some. It's definitely quieter and more relaxed with just one lazy dog, but Karter can't climb on Windsor like he can with Finn. I mean, he's a couple miles away so it's not like he's gone forever...but more changes.

I have also put away dozens of apple filling, grape filling, grape jam, salsa, pickles, banana peppers, apple butter, and more in my 'canning cellar'. It was a lot of work at times, but worth it. So much cheaper and tastes much, much better than store bought, factory stuff. The grape jam is delicious, but not that thick, jello-y glob stuff, smooth, soft, yumminess. The boys have helped a lot and enjoy making dried apple rings in the dehydrator. We're now moving onto pumpkin baking, and with fresh pumpkin! Then, it's onto Thanksgiving menu planning!

My son, the teenager

2011-10-13T21:35:00.002-04:00

Apparently 4 is the new 14. Kian has shown me that lately.

When he asks me to get something or do something, and I say "okay, I'm coming". He answers me "but, you're not". "But you're not!" Over again until I actually have finished said task.

His other new thing is to say "WRONG ANSWER!" whenever any of us says something he doesn't like, it's completely true, or if we say "I don't know". Oh boy.

And finally, this one takes the cake. Today, we were picking the last of the grape tomatoes and peppers in the garden; he and Karter were playing on the old wagon and being silly. I moved closer to them and said "be careful that doesn't tip over on you". He looks at me, says "it's always a party until you get here Mom". ??!!! I wasn't sure I should give him a scolding or laugh... I laughed. Eesh, I am scared to really get to 14.

Kid speak

2011-09-19T21:35:00.001-04:00

I love the way my kids talk. It cracks me up. Kian still calls them "mazageens" and "gril" instead of girl; and all these big words he's using lately. He also says "mine eye, mine book" etc. instead of my. Karter tells me today "I do dis" as he rips his hand from mine and runs in the parking lot. He also makes me kiss anything that hurts. Tonight it was his eye, and he tried to make me kiss his tongue when he bit it. No thanks ;)

Not my finest parenting moment

2011-09-19T15:08:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, Kian was being a stinker when my sister was here. After being told something a few times, I set him on the stairs-the time out spot. He got up a couple times, so I put him back there. After it was done, I was processing with him and said "Kian, do you know why you were in time out?" He says "I don't know." I started to talk then stopped, and asked again, "Kian, why were you in time out?" He's not paying much attention now. I poked my head into the living room and whisper yelled "Kourtney! Why did I put him in timeout?" haha! I just couldn't recall and it was getting pointless now. She reminded me because he threw something I asked him not to, or something similar. I just gave him a quick "listening" pep talk of 2 sentences and let it go. Next time, I'll have to really pay attention or just forgo the timeout. sheesh.

Conversations with Kian--the older brother story

2011-09-12T22:32:00.003-04:00

While we were eating Kevin's birthday dinner (pizza of course) I told Kevin about our day. I was telling him how Karter opened the childproof cupboard lock and got a bottle of Excedrin, which he then also undid the childproof lock. I said that Kian never did that sort of thing when he was 2, that he could sit in the bathroom quietly with toys while I showered and never touch the medicine that was in an unlocked drawer next to him, never had to worry. Kian, eating his pizza, suddenly pipes up with quite the story.

"Yeah, when I was a baby I just played with my toys. I didn't get into things. I played with my toys and my older brother sometimes took my toys away. Sometimes he was mean and took my toys and I was sad."

Me: You have an older brother?
Kian: Yeah.
Kevin: What's his name?
Kian: Karshar

(Trying not to laugh out loud by now.)

Me: I never knew you had an older brother.
Kevin: Where is he now?
Kian: Canada.
Kevin: Oh, what's he do there? Does he hunt beavers?
Me: Or, play hockey?
Kian: Yeah he feeds and hunts beavers.
Kevin: So, Karshar lives in Canada? Who does he live with?
Kian: His parents.
Me: Who are his parents?
Kian: Kershala and Gershala.

Laughter cannot be contained now. Kian is still serious.

Kevin: Which one is the dad?
Kian: Gershala. Kershala is the mom.

After dinner we went out to pen up the chickens and he continued his story about his older brother Karshar. I asked how old his brother was. He said, he was really old, old, old, almost died. I said, well, how old is that? 14. Yeah, that's sooooo old. he also informed me that Karshar is sometimes not so nice and teases him sometimes. He couldn't quiet inform me how Karshar is his brother when he has different parents and lives in Canada though. I guess we have an imaginary son/brother. =)

My baby, 2 years...

2011-08-31T23:36:00.002-04:00

First, let me just start off by saying I have had this blog open for a long time (at least 2 weeks) trying to blog things and put pictures on, but I just haven't been able to finish it. I get sidetracked and the only time I get to sit down is after 9:30 at night. By then, my creative juices are evaporated and I find myself not wanting to blog about mundane things.

Then, I realized that I absolutely must post something for Karter's birthday. In 2 days he will turn TWO. I remember as my due date was approaching thinking "Kian and Karter will be 2 years 2 months and some odd days apart." They ended up being exactly 2 years, 2 months and 2 weeks apart. Both babies born on a Thursday; although Karter was the evening and Kian the morning. Their labors are about as alike as they are..not so much. Labor with Kian was horrible, long, chemically induced, painful. Labor with Karter was short, one hour, not that painful, more relaxed. Guess I knew what to expect the second time around with labor, not quite the same with the actual child!

Kian and Karter are as different as chalk and cheese. =) I had a child client who's father was straight from Ireland and his thick accent told me that my boys would be as different as chalk and cheese, as sure as he be. He was right. Irish always are, should have known! Not only do they look different, but they are different in mannerisms and activity levels. Karter is a hurricane. And a tornado. And a bull in a china shop. All at the same time. Literally. Picture that for a second. A bull in a china shop during a hurricane while a tornado touches down. Yep, that's him. You cannot for a split second take your eye or ears off of him. Probably the best bet is to always keep your hands on him as well. My mom and my friend Amy saw/see how it is. Spend a little time and you'll agree with his Houdini nickname. He can scale anything, no matter how high; he can get in, on, under and through anything, seriously anything. It's exhausting! Kian was definitely NOT this physical at 2 years old. Karter is content to play and sit for awhile, but he just has to push the limits every single minute of every day.

Thankfully, he's cute and sweet and snuggly. He still is stuck on his thumb. He still loves my hair, or his pillow pet's ear when he's sleepy, and still pulls on my shirts' necklines like a lovey blanket. His hair went from jet black at birth to the whitest blonde this summer. I did give him a decent haircut in July because the top wasn't growing but the sides were "clownish" as certain someones called it. He is silly and loves to make us laugh. And can still be shy around new people or when first coming into a place. They get that from me...

(I failed. I again, did not finish this blog. I guess real life was more important, like opening presents and having cake and parties for a certain little monster.)

Karter had a great birthday. He got fun gifts and enjoyed his Big Red Barn cake. (that was a feat in itself, first time making and using fondant! But it came out decent.) I tend to think about the past, his birth and first year, etc. But, when Kevin and I were out to lunch alone Monday, we discussed briefly, the future of the boys. It seems Kian has inherited my not so athletic ability, but easy smarts. Karter, we both agree, seems to have inherited Kevin's natural athletic ability, that sports will come easy to him, and we'll see if he will love school or hate it. I think I avoid thinking too much about the future because I don't want my boys to grow up so fast! But, it happens anyways. I love this age, all the new words, the new abilities they learn and things they realize they can do. Karter is talking non-stop, just like his brother, my ears never get a rest. He's using some good sentences lately (mommy, where baby kitten at?, no shake me Windsor!, etc.). He definitely tries to keep up with Kian, and usually does, in pretty much everything! I love how they're playing together now. It's so fun to watch and makes my heart happy to see them being nice and sweet and together on something.

I love two, so I hope it's a great year for us and Karter, because 3 is usually a difficult year and I'll be dreading it ;) Happy second birthday Karter.

conversations with Kian and Karter

2011-08-22T23:05:00.002-04:00

Playing with Legos today, Kian is having 2 Lego men talk to each other: "Geico saves you money. It's 15 minute driving commercial. You just drive for 15 minutes and it's Geico driving insurance money." ha!

Kian called Karter a "bad name" (stupid) and after a break, I told him to apologize to Karter for bad language. "Karter, I'm sorry for Bad English." haha! Immediately the band popped in my head and I burst out laughing.

After the playground, I went to get Karter out of his seat and he scrunched his nose all up, closed his eyes and whispered "hungry, need eat". Too funny to see in person.

Karter can't say f sounds, so foot is "tut" and food is "tood". He asked for 'tood' so I asked him if he was giving me attitude, joking around with him. He says "I no a-tat-a-tood mommy".

He also calls Finn, "chin". Windsor is "Winza". Kian still pronounces girl as 'gril' and magazine as 'mazageen' and caterpillar as "callapitter". I haven't forced his changing it yet as it is just too cute and one of the last remnants of toddlerhood.

Kian let Finn and Windsor out of their kennel and told me "they randomly got out". Uh huh, sure.

Putting Karter back to bed, he asked if daddy was in bed, I said almost. I said daddy had to go to work in the morning. He looks very thoughtful and finally says "daddy work dump?" HA! He thinks Kevin works at the dump apparently. I said the gym, but he's only been there once as a baby, so has no clue. Tried to explain it, as best I could, but it was pretty funny. We'd probably still have insurance though!

Kian: Mommy, is Windsor going back to NeeNee's house and Finn staying here? Me: No, why? Kian: Because, two dogs are exasperating! They're exaspooperating.
I laughed so hard, but was so impressed he used that word properly. Must be tv is teaching him something ;)

Pickles in a pickle

2011-08-03T11:22:00.003-04:00

Pickles. That's what Kian decided to name our tiny, brand new kitten. No idea why. Pickles arrived via Kevin's friend/coworker who's family has a farm. I guess Pickles was half the size of the rest of the litter and not growing/eating well. So, they thought of us I guess and here Pickles is. No one really looked, and we just went with it when they told us they thought Pickles was a boy. Got Pickles acclimated, started Pickles on some moist food in addition to the milk replacer they had Pickles on.

White, with patches of tabby gray stripes over the left eye and on tail and back legs, and a slight bend to the tips of the ears, Pickles is adorable. Pickles got into a pickle alright, partly thanks to me and thanks to Kian. I had put her on the counter to eat food, to be up from the dog, and went to change Karter's diaper. Here comes Kian up the stairs carrying Pickles, I hear him, but when I look he's kneeling and Pickles lets out a cry. Then, I see it. The limp front leg, putting no weight on it. No!! I pick up Pickles, praying it's just dislocated, feel it and it feels broken up near the shoulder.

I carry Pickles downstairs, talk to the men outside my yard, get the dog in the crate, throw clothes on Karter, shoes on everyone, call the vet and get in the car. That's how we found out Pickles is a girl. Kian is upset and of course doesn't want to be in trouble, so it took awhile to get it out of him and I am still not sure what exactly happened. He said she jumped off the counter and then he picked her up and tried to carry her "like NeeNee did". I asked him if he fell while carrying her (hence the kneeling I caught a glimpse of) he said yes. So, we're assuming between those two things, she broke her arm obviously. Vet confirms break and we leave her there for an hour to be slightly sedated, splinted and taped. No surgeries or anything, her bones are too tiny. She's barely 6 weeks old he says. So she's got a bright pink bandage around her leg, paw and taped around her chest to keep the leg up and tight. Poor poor Pickles! It's a sad thing as she wants to play and tries to hop along but tires and just flops down in the middle of the floor. I have to put her in the litterbox ever couple hours. She actually will meow to let me know she needs to go. Hopefully, the leg will heal well, although we were warned it might be a bit twisted or a bit of a permanent limp, that's okay though. Poor Pickles!

Kourtney and I have decided we need to write a series of books based on Finn and the other pets in this house...the crazy things they do...someday!

Randomness of the week

2011-07-26T23:31:00.002-04:00

"Hot Tub Time Machine" was the stupidest movie ever. Contending for the first place spot with "Contact", back in 1997. Wow. Although, we started "Dude, where's my car?" and shut if off after 3.7 minutes. That was that bad too. Sheesh.

We lost 2 chickens over the last couple weeks, assumption is foxes got them. But, it was in daylight, so anything's possible. They think they're free range and get out a lot and would go towards the pond in the hedges near where we saw baby foxes last month. 11 came back, then 10...pretty sure it was the chick who was sick when she was little and we 'nursed her back to health'. Kian wasn't even upset, and it was his favorite. He'd make her a blanket and put her on the couch to watch tv with him. Absence makes your mind forget I guess. But we secured their pens more so they can't get out (as much) and when they do, they're at least smart enough to stay right around the house on the other side, far away from the pond.

Karter's talking like crazy, using sentences now and words I didn't even realize he knew or what they meant. He told me Finn ate the ball (he didn't, was swimming with it in his mouth) then told me "get different ball." I didn't know he knew what different was and he's been using it ever since, his new favorite word, bossy too, teling me to get different everything. Still a ham and loves to make everyone laugh, but this makes Kian act out to get some attention too. That's frustrating.

Kian says funny phrases, random ones too. He saw cows in the field while we were driving and spotted the bull. He told me "that bull frustrates the other cows with his horns." Okay?! Critical thinking skills in place, check. Today, he was kicking at the glass doors and obviously I was frustrated and said "what in the world possessed you to kick the glass doors?" He looked at me, replies "Karter. Karter Ryan possessed me to." Not even blaming Karter for doing it, but blaming Karter for making him do it.

This week we've actually put some clothes on. No, we don't go completely naked around here, but the boys and I have been wearing swim suits (or undies for them) for the last couple weeks non-stop. It's been almost 100, what do you want? We will NOT just sit in freezing cold AC (ours is on 78, we like to actually remember it is summer) and we love to be outside, so as little as possible was comfy and great for the hose and pools. I met my mom at the beach and we swam and went kayaking. Boys enjoyed the kayaks, and reminded me of when Kenny and Kiara were that little to plop on your lap and row around. Karter found his "sea legs" and was up in the water to his belly and jumping and wanting to go out kicking and splashing with us. Up til then, he'd been afraid of pools (still loves the hose, bath and kiddie pool). I'm guessing he couldn't see the bottom of some pools and it scared him; I remember Kian being afraid of pools/some water the summer he was 2 as well. Interesting....

Garden....um half fail? Between the massive rains, then droughts and soaring temps, it's a mess. I finally got most of it weeded (well at least the beds that actually have things growing in them). Some seeds never took so we have a bed and a half of grass. Beans are doing well and we just picked the first few last night. Tomatoes finally took off, they were so small and blah looking, but this week have grown a lot and are blossoming. Peas and lettuce=fail. Peas were doing great, I put stakes in for them to wind around and then couple days later, chewed in half. Everytime they grow, something eats the tops off. Same with the lettuce. I'm assuming rabbits, as my chickens don't eat them, I watched. Half of my squash plants made it. some got washed away in past rains, then almost died, but this week they are back alive and i replanted them deeper. Sheesh! We have a pumpkin plant that's growing nicely in the middle of our tomato bed, thanks to Kian and the seed packet patrol, but we leave it there.

I am going to embark on a project this coming weekend: Project table redo! Our kitchen table has been abused and lost most of it's varnish. There's paint and food and who knows what else stuck to it, that my scrubby can't even get off. So, I am going to take it out in the garage or driveway, sand the heck out of it, and re-varnish it. Several times. Lots of layers. Might take several days between drying, etc. but I'm okay with that. It was bought at an estate sale by my in-laws and was in great shape, but still I know it's been used for at least over 10 years and could use some more life. Cheap fix, but might take awhile. I'll let you know the results.

Last weekend's project was me redoing the shed/chicken coop. Dad brought over some shelving unit things, and I took everything out of the shed, and put them in. Cleaned out the floor, put down more shavings and now I just need straw, and that will be their nesting boxes. I do however, need to find them a more permanent roost, so they stop using the ladders, pieces of wood, etc. They also share space with a large mouse. He's happy with their corn and oats and feed leftovers. I am not happy with him. I shall sick one of those wild cats on him from out front. The wild cats that have had kittens recently and are SUPER cute. Siamese/tabby mixes, calico babies, I want to catch the kittens and see if we can get them somewhere to at least be barn cats for someone...?

Other than that...trying to figure out why the testosterone diminishing neutering surgery left Finn the maturity of a 6 mo old puppy this week? Ugh. Chewing like crazy and laying down to refuse commands. Fun times. Because, what I really needed was another 2 year old in the house.

Trying to try some other menu options out...buffalo chicken wraps-a hit. Made the wegmans lemon bars--awesome. Playing around with pastas and fresh vegetables. We're doing more seafood, Kian is a huge fan and so is Karter. Score for healthy, lean, and Omegas. And I'm spent, it's after midnight and I took a nap today I was so exhausted, and that was with 8 hours of sleep, I'm going to be in trouble tomorrow! Goodnight.

Things I never thought I'd say before I was a mom

2011-07-14T13:56:00.000-04:00

"Thank you boys, but Mommy doesn't need toys to play with in the kitchen. Because, I'm cooking, that's why I don't need toys, thanks anyways. and please take the grocery cart full of trucks back to the playroom."

"No, Kiela (kourt's dog) won't "lay" babies or puppies. Because dogs and people don't "lay" their babies, they push them out."

"I really don't think a 'cheese smoothie' is a good idea, Kian."

"If you can sing all the songs to all the insurance companies, you are definitely watching too much tv."

"This is why I like having a dog, now clean the floor Finn."

"Why did you just dump out over 30 decks of cards all over the living room floor? Do you know how long it's going to take me to sort out 52 cards for each of those 32 decks???"

"Stop saying poop and fart, in front of, or at the end of, every word!"

"No, the 'dog jail' won't give Finn to another family...unless we never come get him, but we'll go get him I suppose, if he is there again."

"I don't know why girls want to shave their legs and boys usually don't. I just know I don't want my legs hair right now, so stop trying to take the razor out of my hands!" (electric, don't worry)

"Please sit down, penises don't belong on the table Karter."

"No, you're penis does not have bones in it. Yes, I know the rest of your body has bones all in it, but it's the only part of your body that doesn't, okay?! Well, your ears don't either. No, really ears don't have bones either." I am SO NOT going there!

$27.50 at the Public Market

2011-07-12T12:03:00.003-04:00

I LOVE the public Market and am bummed that we're farther away now. But yes, it's totally worth the drive! I took my boys and Kenny and Kiara this morning, the extra hands were nice. I just wanted you to know how much I got for $27.50. I brought $28 but had 50 cents left over.

12 plums/$1
quart tomatoes (5)$1
5 peaches/quart $1.50
3 zucchini/yellow squash $1
bag cherries/quart $3
over a quart of sour cherries $2.50
big bag of beans (green and yellow/wax) $4 (this was more than other places and I paid too much for these, but was already at the vendor when Kian started grabbing them)
4 very large cucumbers $1
9 peppers/basket (few days old but who cares) $1
4 head romaine $2
3 lemons/$1
4 kiwi/$1

At the bakery:
apple turnover, super large cookie, 2 medium m&m cookies=$3.50 total
multigrain loaf, Italian, and french loaf each a $1

Ok my math doesn't add up, but whatever, I came with $28 and brought home 50 cents and got a ton of stuff!

The Coop Scoop: Free will, free range

2011-07-05T14:43:00.002-04:00

Chickens are dumb. Chickens are very smart. It's all relevant. They're dumb when one random one runs the opposite way of the flock. They're smart as they know how to run to the garden fences each morning. They're smart as they know how to run to their coop/shed each night. And when I forget they're out there and they run in there anyways, without me.

When they've had their fill of the garden, they find a way out of the fence and become free range-ers. They go in the tall grasses, or hedges, or where there's a cool spot, some shade, and lots more bugs and food to eat. Those hens come in for the night with full gullets and whatever else parts they have. I need to brush up on my chicken anatomy, sorry. They just roam around, coming back to the garden or shed when they're hot or thirsty. Then, at night they run into their coop to be locked up. Roosting on the shelves and walls, all in a row, it's quite entertaining.

They're such low maintenance, about the same as a cat. You put some food and water down, either let them out into a pen or free, and that's all. Minimal care, minimal cost. They should start laying soon, so I will be needing to get some nesting boxes for that, and see how it goes. I'm not doing any animal byproduct foods, or antibiotic foods, or grower feed. We're just doing corn, oats and scraps and of course bugs, plants they eat all day. So, they're not super sized, but that's okay.

Kian and Karter still love to handle them and they still eat out of our hands and some like to be petted. The Barred Plymouth's are the friendliest still, deciding if that's because we think they're cuter and we played with them more, or just their personalities of that particular breed? They're also kind of the leaders of the flock, those 2 Plymouth's. So, for now, they're free range. I don't think they'll be liking winter around here...

random May pics

2011-06-26T23:57:00.001-04:00

Burn baby burn

2011-06-22T13:50:00.002-04:00

My poor baby. We were trying to do a project and were using the hot glue gun. Of course all warnings fell on (selectively) deaf ears. Ugh. Karter reached up and into his project before I could help him. Right where I just put a line of glue, straight out of the gun. Ugh! I ran it under cold water immediately, but he wouldn't let me pull the piece of glue off (becomes like a plastic cap on your finger) so it was continuing to smolder under there. Finally, after an ice cube, I got the glue off and there was a nice, white blister.

Of course, the worse part is, it's his sucking thumb. Poor kiddo. I don't want him to suck his thumb forever but neither of us are ready for that to be over, and not via a craft injury. I rocked him and had to help him get to sleep for nap. It was so sad to see him trying to suck his left thumb and not figure out quite how to do it. Then try to stick his right thumb in his mouth and cry "burn!" and ask me to blow on it, all over again. He finally gave up and just snuggled his pillow pet and drifted off. I think once he wakes up it won't be as painful, but with the blister I don't know that he'll be able to suck on it tonight either. I hope this does NOT interrupt his great sleeping habits he's been accruing this week!

The Coop Scoop: Chicken food

2011-06-20T15:55:00.004-04:00

We've discovered our chickens LOVE, love, love melon. Cantaloupe, watermelon, they can't get enough. They will destroy a watermelon rind in seconds, only the thin, green skin left, limp on the ground. Peaches apparently they have a taste for too. Cucumbers, and the seeds from melons and cukes. Corn on the cob leftovers? Not anymore. Again, seconds is all it takes. Corn being their favorite of anything I think, that is the first grain/feed they choose to eat.

I've done a random mix up of feeds and grains for them. I am no expert. I started with the chick starter but wouldn't keep doing it once I found out it had antibiotics AND animal byproducts in it. Can we say ew? And YES, that is what every chicken breast or thigh you eat from the store is fed with, on a daily basis. Ugh. So, I got some organic feed. Once that ran out I decided to just get some oats and cracked corn for now. They're semi-free range. They go in my big garden during the day,l eating bugs and worms and greens and leftovers. I give them a small amount of grain in the morning and evening. This seems to satisfy them. I am not going for prize size or layers here anyway. Also, they fertilize my garden and they help keep the weeds down.

They're faster and learning how to escape fences and pens a lot more now. They are sneaky, well they think they are. In the tall grasses on the edges of the gardens, they burrow in and hide. Except I know they're there. The white ones (golden comets) are still the least friendly, bite the hardest (when hand-feeding); and the plymouths are still the friendliest, most willing to be held and eat from your hands. I don't see a "leader" yet, as I've read about, but there are 2 who are aloof and kind of almost "duh!" of the group. They run the opposite way, are the last in and out, get stuck in open spaces. No issues with them pecking each other or being bossy, etc.

And that my friends is your neighborhood chicken backyard coop scoop ;)

What I Do All Day (and it's only noon)

2011-06-18T12:45:00.002-04:00

My Saturday actually started right at 12:30am when Karter woke up screaming. I went in and he wouldn't be comforted. He wanted "ahnge" (orange juice) and "you bed". After 20 mins I gave in to "you bed". He then smacked my mouth (right where the cankersore is!) causing me to yelp. I made Kevin finally get up and get him his "ahnge". He finally settled down, when Kian, who got woken up by the racket, climbed in bed with us, and his pillow, and his blanket. "Move over mommy, I can't get my pillow on too." So we all rolled over and...none fell out surprisingly. After a lot of squirming and wiggling and everyone being too hot, Kian finally said "I want to go back to my bed." And off he went. Whew.

Karter woke up around 5 for another drink, finally fell back to sleep until 7am. Needless to say, I did not sleep so well. I blame the chocolate and tons of processed foods he ate yesterday. Sigh. We got up, dressed, and while we did that, Kian dumped his big bin of Build A Bear clothes and toys. And moved his toy shelf. Room rearranging at 7 am, score. Made it downstairs to let the dog out. Kian fed the dog, which Karter promptly took into the playroom and spread all over. I let the chickens out into the garden, a few escaped but went right back in. I came in and made them eggs and fruit. Both got covered in ketchup. I then rinsed dishes and pans and wiped down the counters. In this time they tried to get into the baking cupboard, which I stopped luckily.

We went to the playroom to pick up dog food, Kian offered to vacuum. I gladly accepted. While I put toys away he started vacuuming. He stopped, dumped all the contents of the vacuum canister on the living room rug. He accidentally sucked up Karter's scarf thingy. I then had to vacuum the entire house (which is all carpet and takes FOR-EV-ER!) Finished putting toys away and vacuuming all the carpets. I shut off the vacuum to find Kian in the kitchen with a chair. He was 'making oatmeal'. He was able to get a very big bowl, fill it with water and a packet of oatmeal and made it into the microwave. But he spilled a lot of water when he put it in the microwave, which is above the stove. I cleaned the stove and floor up from water. Made them both a snack/second breakfast of oatmeal.

Oh, did I mention that while all this was going on they both continually ran outside, Karter naked, Kian in only underwear? Jeremy was mowing and Finn was outside, Karter wanted to "ride mow Jeremy" and Kian was being crazy. While I talked to Jeremy for 2 minutes Kian dumped 2 boxes of games and toys out all over the garage floor that we are so kindly storing for my mother from Patrick and Savannah. Emphasis on kindly. Sarcasm included. Picked that up. Both boys peed on the deck. Inside for clothes.

Now they wanted lunch. We made ham sandwiches, then Karter decided he wanted peanut butter. Then they got the back of crackers/pretzels out, picked out which ones they wanted and left the rest on the table. I opened my computer for a few minutes while they ate and turned on one of their CD's. There was a song about making music with pots and pans. So, of course Kian gets up and takes out a couple pans, and some spoons. Fine with me, go make 'music'. Then he kept running in and grabbing more spoons. I got up to look and half my silverware drawer is out there. I start helping them pick that up, missed a phone call and then I hear the dog start yelping like crazy. Like he's being murdered. and he almost was. I had to chase Kian around the house to grab the dog remote for the shock collar as he was holding down the button, shocking the poop out of poor Finn. He was then too scared to come back outside, just laid inside. Sigh. I had to swat Kian so he'd stop and I could grab the remote. Thus ensued a crying fit.

Kevin then walked in the door and asked what was going on, as Karter ran outside, again, naked. Oh, nothing much. That was just before noon. I also weeded the courtyard, trimmed all the bushes, got stuck with prickers, loaded the wheelbarrow with weeds. Chased chickens again. Put a child for a nap, cleaned kids, unclogged toilets, played Superhero Rummy with Kian, chatted with dad when he stopped for a quick visit with Kenny, loaded the dishwasher, gathered laundry, read stories, filled cups, played baby dolls and dressed them, took laundry off the line, gave snacks and dinner, cleaned all the nasty old grass off the mower, jumped on the trampoline with the boys-twice, fed the dog, watered the cats, fed fish, took a late shower, got kids ready, went to a carnival, rode rides and ate fried dough (this was hard, really) watched a fireworks show, and then managed to get "my" child (Kevin took Karter and failed this objective!) out of his seat, into the house, took his sweatshirt and shoes off, turned on his AC, took off his pants and put a diaper on all without waking him up. Kevin's child was awake by carseat unbuckle two. Ah ha! And really, some people have the gall to ask what stay at home mom's do all day?

Three Months

2011-06-15T15:04:00.002-04:00

Three months is how long it takes for chicks to start sounding like chickens. No more peeping and cheeping. This week they finally started sounding like chickens. They are getting big, they aren't as willing to be picked up as much either. The 2 Plymouths are still the friendliest ones. Kian still goes in there and picks them up (whichever he can catch) brings them on the trampoline and in the house and who knows where. When I told him chickens can't be in the house because they will poop, he promptly put it in the potty seat that Karter's been using. Um, okay. Crazy kid.

That's about all I have to report at this time. I should get some more pictures soon.

Boys stats

2011-06-09T23:46:00.003-04:00

We are loving this summer, the sun, the heat. It's great. The boys can't get enough of water and outdoors. They both have some awesome tans, and have for a month already! Karter's hair is getting blonder by the day, love that too. And both boys have the curliest hair in this heat, it's fantastic.

Karter, 21 mos, just a few short months from his second birthday--already! He was supposed to have a weight check this week, but I didn't feel the need to drive all that far just for a quick sit on the scale. I know he's been growing, taller for sure, still thin though. I weighed him and he's 22.5 lbs, up almost 2 pounds from March. They were happy when I called it in and also that he is growing into the next size clothes. We're up to 18 months now, still a lot of 12 months that he wears, but he can finally wear some of the other things!

We're doing much better with the sleeping. Finally, I can put him in bed and close the door and he might cry for one minute but he goes right back into his bed and goes to sleep. Lately, he doesn't even cry, and half the time doesn't even get out of bed. I couldn't handle anymore sitting in his room or rocking him or trying to lay down with him, etc. So, I am glad he's been able to do this finally. He still might get up once a night, or come in our bed, but I can handle that so much more than the not going to sleep part. Even eating lately is improved. I don't' know if it's because I switched to coconut milk, which he loves and asks for a lot (water is still his main choice) but he's also been chowing like crazy lately. There's a different chain of fatty acids in coconut milk that's easily digestible, so whether or not that's the connection, I don't know, but we'll take it. I'm really not concerned with his weight, just that he is growing; if he's thin or smaller, so be it. We're continuing the enzymes and iron (multivitamins when we remember to buy them) and will keep that up til his 2 year appointment and decide from there.

He's talking up a storm lately, but I wish he was doing more 2 word phrases. He says simple sentences like "mommy jump" and "hop up" (my fave) and "doggy barking". He gets his point across "Jeremy, dada, car, dump" (daddy and Jeremy went to the dump) and I know I have to stop remembering that Kian was the verbal king at this age and saying like 5 word sentences. Karter's definitely more physical than Kian was at this age. I know I say that all the time, it's interesting to see the similarities and differences. A lot of differences, more than similarities I think! He counts 1, 2, 3 and knows his colors! But, he pretends he doesn't and will say 'purple' for everything. He picks out his cloth diapers by telling me which color he wants "ahnge" for orange is super cute, a slight Boston dialect.

He definitely keeps up with Kian for the most part. He doesn't get why Kian isn't napping or going to bed when he does and asks "where Kian" all the time. Loves the trampoline, slides, can maneuver any playground equipment he wants to, all by himself, They are playing together a lot more, blocks and cars and it's great to watch.

Kian still gets frustrated with him at times, but usually there's happy times. Kian was sad about preschool ending and I wasn't able to get contact info for the friends he wanted to hang out with. Half of them are going to kindergarten and he believes he is too, so he was bummed about that. I am going to find some things for him to do over the summer, vacation bible school, sports, etc. He seemed to really like school and he's signed up for 3 mornings in the fall. He is my social one, even at the lake today he was making friends and trunk to keep up with these big boys out in the deeper water. He then told me he wanted to invite his new friend from the beach to his birthday party. Ah yes. The teachers told me he did very well in school, just one day of not being able to listen and such, which he had good reasons for he told me, he wanted to let them know about some things he found exciting but they wouldn't let him talk. =( I struggle with this school thing... I don't really want him to go to full-day kindergarten in a year, ahh!!

Today, on the trampoline I told him he had to the count of 10 to finish jumping before we had to go in. He told me "not to 10" then started counting from 1 all the way to 110! I had no idea he could do that. I'm not obsessed with all these educational things so early. We work on some basic "you have 2 carrots and I gave you 2 more" kind of math. A couple of days ago, we were eating lunch and he randomly started counting backwards from 100, by 10's, to 1. Again, never knew he could do that, I counted up by 10's a few times, and we count backwards from 20, but... hmm, maybe it's those tv shows I let him watch while I put Karter to bed... ALso, why he sings every insurance song ever! Tonight was "we are farmers, dun dun dun dun dun" the other night was nationwide...that's Animal Planet, obviously Disney or PBS does not air those commercials.

The facts this kid remembers about things amaze me too. Sorry, I just don't get this 'flashcard generation' and I don't subject my kids to hours of flashcards just to learn something. So, they memorize a thing on a paper, doesn't mean they know anything about it! Touching, doing, discovering, real life, hands on, makes so much more sense to me. I feel like my kids are going to be the only ones who know about things in 3d instead of just flat paper...oops tangent. My point was, that I don't do that, they do things and so that he picks up all these facts (snakes, dinosaurs, plants, birds, swamps, what things eat, how things are made, etc.) is great because I want to let him forge his own path with his learning, not what I think he should know or want him to know just because... His imagination is amazing, the things he can create in his head, or come up with to build with legos, or the steps and logic behind things...fascinates me.

I decided against a 4 year old check up this year. I mean, really there was no point in the 3 year old one. They weigh him, measure him, ask a few random questions, that I as an Early Intervention service coordinator, know about development and watch anyways. So, it's pointless for me, we have no concerns about Kian in development and I do some checklists here and there. Last I weighed him he ws about 37 lbs, which means he gained 3 lbs in the last year. I'll have to measure height of both of them soon.

He is who he is and although a lot of people don't appreciate his spunk and zest for life, because it equals loudness and boisterous activity most of the time. But, he's independent and mature in a lot of ways and yes, still challenging at times, he's Kian. Every year, it seems from his birthday to Christmas is a good half of the year, and then from Christmas to his birthday again (winter, cabin fever, fun stuff) we have behavioral change and challenges. But, we're figuring it out. He's still the sweetest kid in there, and cares a lot about what you say, do and think about him. Love these boys so much and while they keep me on my toes and challenge me daily, I wouldn't trade them for anything. However, they would like a sister or 2 as well. ;)

Our busy day

2011-06-03T22:19:00.003-04:00

So, today was a busy day in our house. You don't realize how little things turn into big things, quickly. Like every other day, I was skimming facebook and saw a post by 13wham about vaccines. So, I commented and then emailed my thoughts. I thought, "ok they might use some quotes or put it with other people's thoughts". Then 2 minutes later I get an email and request for a phone call and then an interview request! Wahh??

Within 5 minutes I was set up for a short interview, to happen in 2 hours! Fastest house pick up ever, threw the big pans that were soaking in my sink into my oven. Shh! I didn't get to vacuum but, oh well. Fastest shower (I was planning on doing gardening so was in an old, too short tee shirt and some stained cotton white capris) make up I haven't worn in ages--foundation! Was it still good? No idea, but on it went.

When they finally arrived, kids of course had been prepped but still were somewhat crazy. I had to put Kian in front of tv. Sigh. Then, the cameraman decided to film in the sunroom/screen porch because it had the best lighting. Um, yeah i did not clean that area! I quick swept the bbq utensils off the cabinet behind me, forgot the Christmas tree and mallet were behind me. Ugh.

Evan Dawson was down to earth, easy to talk to, made me less nervous and comfortable. He asked some good questions about my thoughts and beliefs about vaccines, and I felt like I stated my thoughts well and organized, not many 'ums'. Then they wanted to go shoot some of me and the kids, doing what we'd normally be doing in the afternoon. I said outside, so we jumped on the trampoline, swingset, and Kian wanted to water the garden. Um, okay. ha. Evan was cool enough and nice enough to get on the trampoline with Kian. They taped that, I'd like to see that ;) Of course, they edited out a bunch and only left me with 2 short phrases, one being what people think about us non vaccinating moms. I said 'crunchy and quacky' um yeah duuurrrh.

After that, I realized the cats had got out of the house into the screen porch and then pushed through the screens out and were outside. Ugh. But, they come back and I had seen them hanging out and wasn't too worried. I changed back into my 'play clothes' and the boys and I finished planting the garden veggies, some flowers and herbs out front. This entire time, Finn was right there with us. I let him ut of the kennel when the TV 'crew' left and he ran around and played with us. While I was planting, he was laying right by my car, 6 feet away, sleeping. When I finished, he had totally vanished. The boys hadn't seen him go anywhere, neither had I. Of course he has no collar on, no tags nothing. Ugh! Grr! Called him, whistled, walked around, nothing. I had to give the boys something to eat quick as it was dinner and they were starving. Then I cleaned them up and put them in the car to drive around. He's still out there, gone for the night. Sigh. I feel bad. But, literally he was there, then gone! He's been good actually for the most part, about staying right with the boys and me. He runs away when Kevin lets him out, especially without the remote collar. But, he listens better to me and has been staying right nearby. Of curse he's had some skin allergies and nasty skin/sores, etc. I had to shave and clean. Called Humane Society and left a message, so we'll see in the morning I guess. Ahh! Guess he's gonna have to get tied up.

Also, we are watching our second and third sets of baby robins that have been hatching around the house. Exciting for Kian, kind of ugly right now though. Oh, and 3 chickens got out. And the boys ran outside about 14 times, half of them naked, and always without asking or supervision. There's 3 doors to get outside and I have to run through the house figuring out where they are and which one they went out. Bah! I definitely get my exercise. Can't go to the bathroom at all, too much excitement going on!

Video from 13wham.

April pictures

2011-05-25T23:55:00.001-04:00

Thanks to blogger, these are in reverse chronological order, I can't for the life of me figure out how to change it! So, we ended April with visits from friends; friends whom we haven't seen in about 7 years, and with 3.5 kids between us (baby Nicholas will arrive to big sister Chloe this summer!) it was a nice time!

A little Elmo and Sesame Street Live:

I needed to buy bins while shopping with karter and put them in the back of the cart. He decided to climb out of the child seat and into the back, apparently they make great forts and hiding spots.

Finally, nicer weather, so a lot of outside time!

The Sandbox in Fairport. This kid's not afraid of anything, and climbed this big bouncey slide a dozen times alone. Craziness.

Some break dancing...

Mmmm, cupcakes from Robin's baby shower!

More outside...

A little painting...

A little Simpson-inspired, Krusty the clown "me wikey da fwied wice". Sigh.

The lump...made better by cat.

Atlantic City Trip

2011-05-17T16:06:00.003-04:00

So....the trip was interesting. Atlantic City is a nice place...for adults. Luckily, the time we went was the off season and it was pretty calm and relaxed. There isn't a lot for kids to do, but the beach and the aquarium were good, and since we were only there for 2.5 days, it was just right.

We left around 5:30 am on Thursday, dropping Finn off at my sister's on the way. The boys were up til late the night before, they were so excited, which actually was okay. This meant that Karter zonked right out again, and Kian fell back to sleep after an hour. Both slept the majority of the trip, with just one rest stop. Although, we did have to pull off by a toll booth and clean Kian up, as he threw up all over himself. Fun! He's never done that before. But, sausage biscuit from McDonald's at 6am with a ton of water and barely any sleep while driving over Pennsylvania hills will do that to you I guess. After that, it was smooth sailing.

It took almost 6.5 hours including the 2 short stops, which wasn't bad. WE got there around 12:30. We pulled up and there was valet parking (same price for what you had to pay to park at the hotel anyways, so why not?) the bell hop loaded our bags and suitcases on a cart and they brought it up to the room while we checked in. Any time we went some where I just showed my ticket to the cashier at the front door and the valet brought the car around. Ahh yes. That combined with the housekeepers who snuck in while we were out and made the bed, cleaned the bathrooms, brought clean towels and vacuumed? Priceless.

The hotel? Oh man. The Tropicana. Definitely an adult hotel. Not racy or anything, but it was massive--like it's 5 square city blocks. Seriously, crazy. There's a mall INSIDE it. Several dozen restaurants and several dozen shops and stores, 2 floors of casinos, 4 towers of hotel rooms. The problem? Our room was in the tower farthest away from the beach and entrance to the hotel. It literally took us about 12 minutes to leave the room, go down the elevator in our tower, through "the Quarter" (the Cuban 'district' in the hotel itself) take the escalator down through the shops, walk through the casino, take the escalator down to the main floor and walk across to the outside door. Sheesh. Thank God for the Boba carrier! I did this by myself a few times as Kevin was in his trainings and conferences. I did end up going to Target and snagging an umbrella stroller since we had left ours at my mom's a few weeks ago. That way I could keep Kian contained and not wandering into the slot machines as well, or if someone got tired...

Thursday we hung out on the beach and walked up the boardwalk to the pier (one of them) and then had dinner at the Rainforest Cafe, Kian's pick. It was a good place to take kids for sure. It thundered, lightninged, was loud, had monkeys and gorillas and parrots and elephants moving and making noise every 10 minutes. That definitely drowns out any toddler yelling and preschool protesting. After a detour in the room, we went back to the beach and boardwalk, bought some cheap sand toys and enjoyed the setting sun. We were beat by then and all crashed fairly early. Karter, as I figured, had some difficulties staying asleep. He slept with Kian in the bed and woke a couple times whining/crying but not completely awake. I just had to reach over or come and pat him and he was back out pretty fast.

He was still tired on Friday morning, that after I got them all ready and Kian was watching a cartoon, he fell back to sleep on my lap. We hung out in the hotel room for a bit and then went to check out the town and Target. Oh yeah, that was happy 30th birthday to me. That monthly friend, Kevin leaving early for training and crabby kids...nice way to wake up. Hmm.. Kevin then got out early from the training and we met him for some lunch and more beach play and boardwalk-ing. It was in the upper 60s but the sun was shining and it was beautiful. The ocean air was good for our hair, since the boys and I sported some curly do's, Karter especially. Here...it gets a bit hairy...Karter zonked out in the stroller, Kian and I wanted seafood for dinner and were headed up to the Pier for a seafood restaurant. But, Kevin's team member/friend/coworker and his family wanted to do dinner with us...so...I gave up my decision of birthday dinner to meet them...back at the Rainforest Cafe. Um, hello, did that last night, ugh. So...I am owed a dinner of my choosing, thank you very much!

Saturday morning we all woke up early and packed up and checked out. Kevin went to training, I took the boys to breakfast and then the aquarium. This was the hit. I was expecting this huge, state of the art aquarium. Um, no. I turned on the road, didn't see anything, turned into the parking lot (gravel) by the sign and saw a small octagonal building, with brown wood shingles. Um, huh? Well, we had nothing else to do. The kids were free (yay) so I only had to pay for myself. It was small: 2 small stories, with only 5 small tanks on the first floor and the second floor had some reptiles and amphibians (aka snakes and frogs and lizards). But, the coolest part was the touch tanks! The boys got to walk up to this low, long tank and touch dogfish sharks--don't worry not dangerous, and sea urchins and star fish. We watched a diver go in the biggest tank and feed the fish. Then we went upstairs to see some other things and, in my opinion and Kian's too, the best part ever--baby sting rays! There was a tank with various rays, all small baby ones. Some were just bigger than my hand and some were about 2 feet wide/long. For $2 you could buy a cup of fish to feed them. Keivn and I touched sting rays in VA beach on our honeymoon--very cool, they feel smooth, slippery but not slimy, almost like wet velvet. These things are awesome, they're like puppies! They come right up and want to be petted and fed and are so friendly. Kian spent probably 45 mins of the hour and a half we were there at the ray tank. Karter did not enjoy it and wanted no part of touching them.

Luckily for us, Kevin decided to cut out early and wanted to head for home. It was looking like rain and with no hotel room to go to, the boys and I would be pretty crabby in the car wandering around for things to do. We grabbed some lunch and headed off. Buhbye....that was all. It was a nice little mini vacation to get out of the house and see some new stuff, but not exactly relaxing. The driving 6+ hours for just being there 2-2.5 days was not so thrilling. The boys were great in the car, slept or talked or looked at books and listened to music. Neither fell asleep on the way home like I thought they would. The closer we got to home, the wider awake they became and more excited they got. Interesting. Would I go there again? Eh, if I somehow got a windfall to spend at a casino-land. But, that's not really for me. You can sit on a beach closer to home, too. But, I am more determined to go back to Boston and now I need to make a trip to Philly!

I'll get some pictures up soon...

March Pictures

2011-05-13T23:52:00.000-04:00

First day of preschool

friday blog

2011-05-06T20:19:00.002-04:00

Braggin' bout my super smarties

2011-05-03T22:20:00.002-04:00

I try not to blatantly brag, but tonight I am going to do it.

Karter is picking things up like crazy lately, imitating all we do, and say (finally getting more words and sounds in there!). He loves to try to help right along with Kian and I, in the kitchen, and everywhere. Tonight, I was making dinner and the boys were playing with the pots and pans on the floor (yes, I let them do that). Karter took his around the corner, and I didn't think anything of it. Kian went around the corner too and says "Karter's cooking too!" I came to look and he had opened the cupboards, pulled out oatmeal and filled the pan with oatmeal and then put the top on it. I happen to think that's pretty darn smart, especially since he did not spill any of it. =)

But, Kian took the smart award tonight. Boy is a genius. You can have your reading kids and counting kids and your whatever kids, but THIS is what we appreciate in our house. Independence, problem solving, DIY, kid's got spunk and he's definitely smart. I was washing the glue off the walls from the wallpaper, on a ladder and I hear him start to play with the electric screwdriver. I told him to put it down and please not play with it. His answer was that he was "fixing the paper towel thing, because it was broken". A few minutes later I stepped down from the ladder and turned around. He had screwed the toilet paper holder back into the wall (it had been hanging by one screw while I scraped wallpaper around it) and also had gone to the pile of screws and picked out the right one and screwed that in as well. It was nice and tight and back in place, all the proper way, ready for toilet paper again. Love it!

Kevin Kevin Kevin

2011-04-28T23:25:00.002-04:00

I realized I talk about my kids a lot. A lot, a lot. Sorry, they're cute and funny and I love them, and they're naughty and say silly things. I realized I don't say a ton about Kevin. Which is funny, since I feel a lot.

When thinking about Kevin the other day, I realised a lot of his weaknesses/faults are also his strengths and "pros", so to speak. For example: he's impatient, never looks before he leaps, jumps headfirst, it's go big or go home, he abandons ship sometimes, or he quits doing things by the book and finds shortcuts-even if they don't make sense, he's goofy, silly, and I often tell him to stop acting like a 12 year old on the back of a school bus. Huh...sounds kind of harsh eh?

But, when looking at those things, those same traits can be very good things. Kevin is one of the hardest workers I've met, especially at work, who doesn't complain about getting up early and going to work. I think my dad is the only other person I've never heard complain about getting up and working all day and just doing it because that's your job and you have to provide. He might not look into all the risks of the things he's getting himself into, but sometimes knowing the risks makes people chicken out. He knows when it's time to wave the white flag and has done so a few times on various other business projects he's started up with other people in the past. Sometimes, seeing something through to the end isn't always a good thing. He can jimmy and jam and shove and make things fit in or through something. He makes do with what he's got on hand. He puts his all into things he's passionate about, business, sports, family, etc. (Currently his businesses, but I think I'm 4th or 11th...I kid, I kid.)

There are plenty of times his pre-pubescent antics drive me nuts. It literally reminds me of the dorky actions of the kids who drove me nuts on the back of the school bus,, boys trying to impress each other and outdo each other. He can lay it on thick when he's with other guys, doing all that macho, one-up each other with their one-liners and pool games and keeping scores and so on. But, it also keeps him young and silly with the boys. The wrestling and silly games and strange phrases he teaches them, or weird things he calls them (Karter=car charger, karterbaby.com -yes he says dot com, and now Karter says dot com, especially after hearing it on tv/radio, sigh. and jarjarbinks and I don't care if I spelled that wrong. the poor kid will have enough of a complex!) the teasing them that alligators and monkeys will be in their rooms at night, and such. He relates to them on a totally different level that, I, as a mom and girl, just don't get; I am very thankful for that, that they have that with him. (Which also fuels my fire of wanting to have a girl to relate to in the same gender/hormone way.)

Kevin's not a big talker. I mean, he can talk and does, in depth about fitness, weights, fishing, sports, and "guy stuff". But, he's definitely not an emotional conversater. (Is that a word? Jess, did I just make up a new word?) Conversationalist I guess would be the word, drat. He does avoid heated, intense topics and that makes me annoyed since I like to talk things out. He 'listens' though when I do talk. Hey, the appropriate 'yeah, hmm" and nod is better than nothing! It's funny how we're on 7.5 years of marriage (holy cow, already?!) and we're still learning, about each other, about our relationship, what works, what doesn't, what has to change, etc. I guess all the changes and phase we've gone through will do that.

Although, looks played a part in me getting to know Kevin, it really wasn't that. He wasn't even single at the time and we just became friends. Then like, best friends. Like, studying every night, going out for a bite to eat, teasing Jess about her nameless man and habits, quizzing him on his anatomy and physiology (no, really, he was taking that class, not some weird code name!) and when he failed chemistry twice, working out, taking walks, schlepping through the muddy woods looking for golf balls, him trying to get me to climb the train trestle (I wouldn't!) building a fort in his parents' den with lamps and futons and blankets (we were weird, bored college kids who didn't party, what do you expect?) hanging out with mostly just each other... Suddenly, it was like we both realized there was something to this. The attachments to others we both had, were gone and we just went head-on, and everyone thought we were nuts getting engaged after only being (officially) together for 4 months, but we'd been super close, best friends for 2 years before that. It obviously worked.

No one can make me as mad as Kevin can (perhaps my mom...) no one gets to me like he does. But, I don't think there's anyone I'd fight as hard for or with. I often tell him I get so mad at him because I love him so much. Passionate about him in every way =) I'm so proud of him and I probably don't tell him enough. He busts his butt for us, he just does what needs to be done and does it so I can stay home and has told me he wants me to stay home...even if he is a bit jealous of that. He tackles these business things with everything he's got. He's ambitious. He excels in areas where I lack. Even though he might not have told me in so many words, he trusts me and respects my ideas and research and decisions. Kevin has gone along with, agreed with me, and leaves the details up to me in a lot of areas-especially the kids and child rearing. He trusts my instincts and my research and has given me the control to make decisions and agrees with me, in such things as not vaccinating, the discipline techniques and what they eat and such. I fully appreciate that. Although, he often asks me if I can handle watching them while he plays a game of pool...uh, hello dear, I do that all day without you!

Sure I wish he was sometimes a bit more romantic and had sweet words to whisper, but I have my areas to improve upon as well. I definitely appreciate all he does, all he is and think the rest of the world should know ;)

Karter and his crib

2011-04-27T09:11:00.002-04:00

The pitter patter of feet I hear lately, mean that Karter has climbed out of his crib and is running around again. Sigh. Easter morning I went in to get Karter and left him in the crib while I grabbed his clothes out of the closet. I hear "mooooommy" and look over. He is laying on the top rail, on his stomach, with his naughty grin. Then he swings his leg over and slides down. And that my friends, is the end of that.

So, from then on, he just climbs out and hops down when he wants to be out. This is the kid that has been asking to go night-night and loves his crib (unless he wants to be in our bed, but will ask to go "my room" when he wants his own bed). I know it takes him a long time to get used to things, but I half thought that maybe since he likes my bed, that he would be okay with the toddler bed. Wrong! He kept pointing to his crib and saying 'night night', so I put him back in the crib. I just don't like that he climbs out and runs down the hall and down the stairs, especially if I don't' know he's awake. I don't want him cracking his head open. Sigh, again.

I think the plan will be instead of the new, separate toddler bed, for now I will convert his crib into the toddler phase. That just means taking the one side off and putting a small, half-side rail on that matches. He'll still feel like he's in the crib, but can get in and out without climbing over the top, since it's kind of high. One of the many new phases we get to go through, again.

His motor skills are still his number one thing, climbing, running, jumping off stairs and rocks, his fine motor skills almost as good as Kian's (gulp). His speech is coming along. He's definitely saying a lot more, but he doesn't put any endings on anything yet, which drives (the former EI service coordinator) me nuts! Some sounds that I think he should have, he doesn't yet. But, we'll get there, we're working on it. And if not, then I have no qualms about calling EI for a speech eval in a few months. Eh, it is what it is.

Karter is in that easy, fun stage; which conversely makes Kian look even more like a monster...triple sigh. Everyone thinks Karter is so fun and easy, which is true at this age, also which is why we decided to have a second one when Kian was this age, he was so easy! He's definitely a ham. He knows how to make us all laugh and is so silly. He's also so sweet and snuggly still, which we love. He is into Kevin a lot now and both boys get so upset when he's gone working late, and ask for him every morning.

He likes the numbers 3 and 9, he loves the color yellow. He's wanting to know colors of everything, and can tell you animals and their sounds. He calls all shoes and boots "boots". Pajamas are "coats" too because they have zippers like his coats. This one makes me laugh a lot! He loves to hold my hair or his own and suck his thumb still. He prefers water over all other drinks, but will ask for milk sometimes. Loves fruit cups and peanut butter (pee-a buh-ah). And jelly now too, and honey and gummis.

I love that he's totally interested in the potty lately. Even with a diaper on, he points and says "I pee". I sit him on randomly and he has gone pee a little bit, a few times. Of course we made a huge deal over it. Then, yesterday he started to poop on the floor (oh joy) I stopped him and put him on the potty, and he finished going. That was a super big deal. (we were diaper free due to a rash.) I have really high hopes that he'll be almost all the way trained by his birthday in September, due to being able to run naked all summer and his high interest. I know, I'll be realistic, but I am hoping!

Still dealing with the digestive stuff...ran out of Prevacid and then heard some reflux come back a few nights, what's coming out the other end is still very undigested, loose, horrible odor--and this is with enzymes for the last couple weeks. Ugh, I give up. We're back on the dairy and egg free diets, and I am actually getting rid of the almond milk too, as I read there can be some sensitivities built up to that after awhile. I am leaning towards some gluten free diet changes as well, since I don't know what else to do. I think we need a re-do, to start over from beginning on his food intake and see what we're dealing with. Sigh. But, despite that he's healthy, happy, silly, snuggly and so much fun and loving music and outside and his 'cheeps' and his cats, can't ask for anything else.

More conversations with Kian

2011-04-24T21:58:00.002-04:00

Tonight, as Kian went to bed, Karter woke up and was crying. I rocked him for a few minutes and Kian was singing him lullabies to calm him. It was very sweet, but his lyrics were making me giggle.
"Hush little baby don't cry, mama's gonna buy you a rocking...chair. If that rocking chair breaks, mama's gonna buy you a baby break, and if that baby break gets broken, mama's gonna buy you a crystal ice shell. If that crystal ice shell breaks, mama's gonna...hush, don't cry, don't cry, cry..."

and-
"Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are. Karter baby, don't you cry, you're a good baby, such a good baby, you're the best baby." Love when he's so sweet to his brother.

Kian also really wants a "cow" bunny from Country Max. It's black and white, large spots and it really does look like a cow pattern. Friendly, little critter too. But, we can't just keep adding more pets. Kevin always gives Kian the reasoning "if we got rid of your dog, you could have a bunny" because he gets super annoyed at Finn a lot (although tonight took him out for a walk on his own...hmmm). So, now when Finn runs away or doesn't come right back into the house after being let out to potty, Kian stands at the window, shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, I guess he got rid of hisself so I can have a bunny from Country Max." Funniest thing ever.

Talking about his birthday party (first he wants a pirate party, then a dinosaur party, poor kid just can't make up his mind, good thing he has 2 months left) I asked him who he wanted to invite. He named a couple kids, then I asked 'who else?" He says "Korbin!" Yep, Korbin, my sister's puppy. The closest thing to a cousin he'll ever have on my side for awhile. She later texted me a picture of Korbin with his party hat on. Woof!

Easter

2011-04-22T09:31:00.002-04:00

I think a lot of people are reading my blogs and facebook and thinking "when did she get so God and religious and spiritually nutty?" Well, truth is, I always have been inside. But, I guess, like my sister says "I put on my big girl panties" and stopped having separate lives going on and meshed them. I stopped worrying about what other rpeople thought of me and my spirituality (I don't call it religious, because to me, religious acts are more the customary/traditional things that churches do; like a lot of the Catholic church practices of confirmation, etc. Spirituality is more how you connect and relate to God and what goes on in your heart that motivates you...as simple as I could make it.) If I can't be me inside and out, to not just those I am comfortable with and even those who it makes uncomfortable, then I'm not being true to me, I'm not being honest with myself or anyone else. And, how can I tell my boys but not live it?

As far as holidays go, Christmas and Thanksgiving are my favorite, such amazing family time and great things to celebrate, secular and religious-wise. But, personally, for myself, I love Easter. I love all it stands for, the meaning of it all. That I can claim a higher God to take care of me, watch out for me and bless me and die for my sins so I can have eternal life in a glorious Heaven. It's a lot to take in, it's taken me years to really process. There are so many aspects and details to the story, from the betrayal, to the death and crucifixion, to the burial and the resurrection and Ascension,..each year I take away and dwell on a new piece of the story. We could never fully comprehend the pain and torture Jesus went through for each of us, knowing he could have stopped it at any time, but didn't, to save us and full fill the prophecies... I'm forever grateful for the cross.

Charity Update

2011-04-21T09:00:00.002-04:00

Lest anyone think I am not following through on my huge idea, here's an update. Although, I had some reservations after reading a verse in the Bible that says something along the lines of tithe and give in private, not announcing it. But, I argue in my head that I don't want to be seen as a big talker, no action.

As soon as I had posted that charity idea, we got calls, soliciting donations. Of course. Kevin took a call and donated to the NYS chiefs of police association, for kids' clubs/camps. (I think he donated because his soft spot for knowing and training Bob Duffy-former Chief of police and former mayor.) Then a week later I got a call and donated to the Breast Cancer Relief fund. However, while on the phone with the guy (because I hadn't heard of it before) I did a fast search online for the foundation. It's eh, so-so. I would have preferred to give directly to Susan G Komen foundation or something. This one's ratings were that great and I still don't know exactly what they do. Not that I want to discourage anyone, but I wanted a bit more research. Both, provided, in the mail, information immediately after we gave.

I also gave to 2 non-profit, non-commercial, totally listener-funded Christian radio stations I listen to all the time. Family Life Network and K-Love. Wasn't exactly in my plans but after hearing their campaigns each spring and fall and realizing that I have them on in my home almost 24/7, how could I take without giving? I know, some people would say, just listen to another station that has commercials, blah blah. But, I also love some of the programming and there's a kids hour on FLN that Kian's getting into, one that I listened to when I was a kid!

So, while none of those were ones in my original idea/plan, but I am glad we have done something. we did donate to the Diabetes association, that I had linked back to previously, that our friend Josh is doing the Tour de Cure for this summer-that one was in my original plan. I feel good about donating because although I'd love to be volunteering somewhere, it's not quite in the cards right now. I'd have to pay a sitter and work that all out just to find a couple hours to volunteer, so for now, monetary is what I can do. And I know that's what's asked of us/me right now and I feel good about it. Blessings come from obedience and giving and I'm cool with that.

conversations with Kian

2011-04-19T22:07:00.003-04:00

"I prefer that, actually, I don't like this." -about some food for lunch. He prefers things now.

"It surely will be in this drawer." Surely? Surely you received your mother's love of English and language and literature. I don't recall using these words lately but now I'm inspired to have vocabulary bees. Just kidding...kinda ;)

How I know he's watched too much tv (even tho he's only watched about 3 hours in the last week and a half, we're on a tv strike!) when he makes up a song with the same tune to "Nationwide is on your side" about Karter being near his side...then follows it up with another song about cats to the tune of "like a good neighbor, state farm is there..." yep. Wonderful.

"Oh you're a miracle, oh little chicks, you're such a miracle." And we didn't even see them hatch, just scooped them out of the Country Max bins...yep, a miracle. ;)

Kian: I want to go out for breakfast. I want an egg sandwich with bacon.
Me: I can make you an egg sandwich here with bacon, on toast or a bagel.
Kian: No, I want the square eggs, only Mcdonald's has those. I need to go to McDonald's.
Me: Sigh.

Took my phone after I was texting my sister and after a few minutes I realize Kian's banging away on the keyboard. He'd sent about 3 super long texts of letters and numbers. He told me "I told NeeNee to get rid of my dog in a wheelbarrow, to get rid of him so I can get a bunny from Country Max." Okay then!

Conversation in bed tonight, just after prayers:
Kian: Do snakes eat guinea pigs?
Me: Yes
Kian: Only medium snakes eat guinea pigs, or maybe small ones. Do snakes eat bunnies?
Me: Yes, some can eat cats and dogs too, which is why we won't be getting a snake.
Kian: Only large snakes eat dogs, but not big dogs, only medium dogs.
Me: We're still not getting a snake.
Kian: We need to get a cage, a snake cage.
Me: We're not getting a snake.
Kian: And a light, and we need to get snake food bowls.
Me: We're not getting a snake.
Kian: We need water bowls too, and balls for it to play with.
Me: We're not getting a snake.
Kian: Does Country Max sell all snake supplies?
Me: We are not getting a snake.
Kian: We need-
Me: We. Are. Not. Getting. A. Snake. Now, I am going to put Karter in his bed and there will be no more talking...

Earlier today, after leaving Country Max (they have a snake set up there) "Do snakes poop, Mommy?" I informed him that, yes every living creature does poop. He wanted to know where and I had to explain they don;t have butts but holes on their bellies. The things I never thought I'd be talking about...

But, gosh I love that boy ;)

He's named quite a few of the chicks...luckily he doesn't notice that we only know the names of 3 of them consistently!
One red mix-hybrid is named Suzy Zooter Zip. She's smaller than the rest and has a slight bum issue, so easy to pick out.
The 2 black/white Plymouth's are named Bandit (whom he calls Bad B) and Roadie (this one has a black stripe on his beak, the other does not. Actually they are probably all girls!) These are the friendliest and most curious ones.
From there, it gets a bit fuzzy (ha, chicks, fuzzy!) because the other RIRs and the Golden Comets all look like each other, with some slight differences.
Another Rhode Island Red one is named Aunt Elissa (per her request), another Ruby.
Finally, there's a Max, Nico, Eeko, and some other random ones from time to time. I love that he came up with these names all on his own--except Bandit, I suggested it after he kept saying Bad B.
Suzy spends a lot of time with Kian, on the couch, on a towel, wrapped up, in her own box (so the other ones don't peck her bum) in a cool whip container (clean), he sings her lullabies and she 'watches' shows with him. It's actually pretty darn cute and I love how tender he is with her. (hopefully she doesn't decline and die or something!) This puts my faith in him for being the best big brother to little sisters. =)

So behind---catch up post

2011-04-17T20:09:00.002-04:00

Busy, busy, busy. That's us lately. Not necessarily with places to be and go, but here in the house mostly. So, let's get a random update to catch us all up, shall we?

First, chicks! We have baby chicks. They are now about 2 weeks old. We had talked about getting some but never put our order in. When they came in Jeremy (my sister's boyfriend) called and told us to come check them out at Country Max. We went, we saw, we conquered. 12, yes a whole dozen baby chicks. They are still living in our house until they are a few more weeks older and we get a coop built outside. They're tough since the boys handle them a lot, upside down, squished and loved a lot. 2 Plymouth Rock barred (black and white speckled) 4 Rhode island reds, 4 golden comets and 2 'hatchery choice'--this means "a bunch of chickens got together and fertilized these eggs, we don't know what they are". We could have up to 4 dozen eggs a week if they all lay their maximum, but not for a couple months yet. So, there will be quite a bit of chicken posting and updating in the future.

Second, new routines are set up in the house, which we are following through with pretty well. We started with the preschool addition in March (which Kian loves and wishes he could attend more than 2xweek) then we started a new housekeeping/cleaning routine (I am very visual and had tried a few different routines, but found a good one that stuck and is on my fridge) also craft/school/science type stuff for the boys during our new daily routines--also posted on the fridge. Definitely the chicks fall under the "science/life experience/hands-on" category.

Also trying to figure out Kian's preschool situation for the fall. He's in an afternoon class right now and that works well for him as he does not nap. But, the downside is that Karter is now over the 2 naps per day and so that means he either gets a very short nap or a very late one, and neither is desired, by him or us. I think for the fall we will do mornings. He can do up to 5 days/week but, I don't think I want to be running him there and back 5 x each week, every single day, blah. So, we shall start with 3 and see what happens, how it goes, and there might be an opening for more, later on. This has been a great thing for him and I, and it's getting scary that we're getting closer to kindergarten/school age. It's sooooo very different from preschool and daycare. I really am disliking the thoughts of putting my kid on a bus and not seeing or hearing from him for 8+ hours. Yes, I did that when he was in daycare. But, it's just different. I mean I dropped him off and I knew what he was doing and being taught and there was lots of napping and such since he was so young. I'm going to publicly admit, that yes, home school has entered my head...maybe just a year or two? Another post in and of itself eh?

Karter, let's see...finally putting words together-some of my fave: no all done!, no bye bye!, daddy grumpy (repeating me haha). I still am a little paranoid about his sounds and yes you are all rolling your eyes, but I've seen enough speech sessions with 18 month olds to recall what needs to be done. Kevin also pointed out to me that he thinks I probably am not sitting down as much with Karter or we're not making him talk as much as we did with Kian. Realistically, due to time, having more than one child, etc. So, I have been a little more focused and intent on remembering that.

We also got the results from Karter's complex stool analysis back a few days ago. Why do answers just make more questions?
Results:
1. Normal fat digestion
2. Elevated amounts of meat and fiber (may be that Karter is young and just doesn't chew his food well enough)
3. Low stool pH (too acidic) - this may be from malabsorption of sugars in the intestine
4. The good bacteria Lactobacilli is absent from the stool
5. There is 1+ growth of yeast which is considered to be within the normal range
6. The was the presence of fecal lactoferrin which is associated with inflammation in the intestines. Karter had a very normal sedimentation rate on his blood test in December. This normal value would make it seem extremely unlikely that Karter has a significant inflammatory condition in his intestines (such as colitis).
(as per doctor's email report)

So, what does this mean? His morning cocktails just turned into all day cocktails...sigh. First, add a good dose of probiotics to build up that 'good bacteria' and get his gut flora in balance and make sure we don't get yeast overgrowth. Also, on that note, cut back on sugars and carbs (especially white). Second, added in enzymes to aid for digestion. Third, we are still giving him extra vitamin D and iron along with a multivitamin. In the morning, I mix up some enzymes and probiotic powder in his juice/cup, give him a multivitamin chewable and a chewable vitamin D + calcium tablets. Then later on in the day I give him iron drops (can't mix them with calcium or it won't be absorbed by the body). Then, for dinner and lunch I also have to give him some enzymes. Because they are capsules I open them up and dump half the powdered dose into another drink or food. Hemp milk or almond milk, and sometimes an omega 3 chewable. Fun. I need to get him a pill holder for easier dosing. Sheesh, it's a lot to remember. I am also going to focus on getting more alkaline foods in him (fruits, veggies, complex grains-as meats and dairy make the body produce more acid during digestion). And we are going to try a true dairy and egg free diet for 2 weeks to see if that makes a difference. I have been lazy about the dairy especially. But, both of us are feeling the affects of that (thanks gallbladder!).

He was sleeping better, but then was working on those eyeteeth (I call them canines haha) and that along with a 3 week long cold (his first or second, ever) made for some crappy sleep for us all the past couple weeks! Hopefully, with some new additions and changes to diet will help us all get more sleep.

Other things? Steaming and scraping the wallpaper off the upstairs bathroom so we can paint. Maybe some baby goats coming soon. I shampooed/steam cleaned the carpets, the entire downstairs, took me almost 4 hours the other day. Sheesh. I think I might want some more non-carpet flooring! Went to some baby showers this month and more babies coming this spring and summer. It was definitely fun shopping for some girly stuff for Amy. And of course seeing what new boy stuff they have for Robin ;) Perhaps I can convince Kevin to give me a girl of my own soon...everything is blue, green and brown around here. Seriously in need of some pink and polka dots and flowers!

Well, now that Karter is crying upstairs, it's late, I'm exhausted and my computer is telling me it needs to be charged (yes my new laptop! and I scored the new photoshop CS5, going to have to teach myself that!) methinks it's time for bed!

today's update

2011-04-12T19:07:00.003-04:00

was told we had to take the business post down because some of what i said about the 5linx programs they don't want just out there you have to talk with a representative and blahbalbh. so yeah, if you wanna know ask kevin.

took chick picks again today. will post later tonight.

got karter's stool analysis report.

grilled steak out. the kids only ate the bowlful of peas. go figure.

colder than the 80 degrees it was monday. boo.

that is all for now.

interesting funny cool

2011-04-01T13:37:00.002-04:00

Ok I only realized a month or so ago, that these words were appearing at the end of each blog. The reader can click either 'interesting', 'funny' or 'cool' about each post. Um, interesting indeed, I didn't put them there, they just showed up. I would probably have picked better words... lest you think I am narcissistic or something...

A memo

2011-03-30T08:17:00.003-04:00

Memo
To: Neighbors, Apartment tenants and trailer park residents next door
From: The Glors, and Finn
RE: Our dog
Date: March 29, 2011

It has come to my attention almost a 100 times now, that my dog continually runs into your yard. Mostly, because I call him and he does not come; or he comes running from your yards when I shock him. Please note that said dog would NOT keep returning to your yard if you refrained from: petting him, calling him, playing with him and feeding him. But, if by all means you want to continue this shared pet keeping, then please begin by allowing him to poop in your yards and pee on your bushes and fences. Also, he likes Taste of Wild dog food, which is a fairly expensive brand.
Thank you.

Just shut up already, or alternately titled: Less is more

2011-03-22T20:33:00.002-04:00

I started this blog as an updater of sorts, to keep up with family and friends that were spread all around. To also keep updates of Kian, and then Karter, for my own sake as well as theirs. To share pictures. To share information and recipes and research and whatever. But, lately I'm feeling I've gone too far. I'm using it as a personal journal and things are getting bigger than I intended. Not bigger in a good sense. Bigger, I guess, meaning, more out there, things that the world doesn't always need to know. I do like to show how I am growing and changing and learning as a person, a wife, a mother, and so on. But, sometimes, less is just more. Sometimes I need to just shut up.

I don't try to outdo anyone. I don't try to make myself look amazing and awesome. I don't want people to think that I'm trying to show off my kids and make others' feel discouraged or anything. I don't want everyone to go run out and do what I say when I post something. I don't expect people to always agree with me. I know I have some alternative views and different ideas and thinking and ways of doing things. I don't post car seat information or breastfeeding information to make others' feel bad or guilty. I post things I am passionate about in hopes that I share some insight or research or information others might not have heard or read about yet. I post things to maybe help the health and safety of others and children. I post things because I love to keep learning. I love to keep reading new things and finding new ways.

But, I'm feeling convicted lately to be less to be more. Be less to be more. I don't quite get it yet. I am putting my head around it. I think I see how it's going. I think less talk, more action. I think I need to step back. I need to put first things first. I need to reorganize and prioritize some things. So, facebook statuses and updates and blog posts might be minimized or less personal, I don't exactly know yet how it will look. I just know I need to find some more balance and perfect the art of not showing all my cards or spilling all the beans or think harder about how I might come across to others, even though I know my intent was good. So, I'll be figuring out how to be less to be more...

Citrus Herb Tilapia

2011-03-21T18:44:00.003-04:00

We're trying to eat more fish. Omega3 and all that. Plus I'm just over over-drugged and over-hormoned beef. But, I'm not a big fish eater or maker. So, that leaves me to searching online for recipes. (I also like the Wegmans Menu magazine, and have done so many of those, so I had to pass on their more recent fish one.) I also need something dairy and egg free. I found a recipe for Herb Citrus something Tilapia. But, it had eggs and flour and all this other stuff. So, I do what I do best, interpreted and revised and devised and adjusted and changed it up. It was delicious! Karter and Kian ate a whole piece each! I loved how the citrus took away from the "fishy" taste--and yes, I know that tilapia doesn't have as much of a 'fishy' taste as some others.

Without further ado--

Zest from 1-2 Oranges (or mix of lemons and oranges-I only had oranges)
*I only used zest from one, but 2 would have coated both sides better, still tasty.
1/2 tsp rosemary
1 tsp basil
1 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp thyme
1/2-1 tsp granulated garlic or garlic salt (if u use granulated, use a bit more)

*I didn't really measure, only by eye, since I was shaking the herbs out, not into a spoon. If you add more zest or more fillets, then definitely double up on the spices.

I started by salt and peppering the fillets (4) on both sides.
Then, I mixed the rest of the ingredients together in a bowl and just spread them on the tops of the fillets. Here's where I noticed, probably zest from 2 oranges would mean you could cover the backs as well.
I placed them in a pan with some olive oil on the bottom.
Broil for about 15 mins. Voila! Dinner is served! (With roasted asparagus too!)

And laughing that blogger spellcheck doesn't know what tilapia is...

And this would probably be just as delicious on chicken too!

It's a funny thing

2011-03-20T19:58:00.003-04:00

I was thinking this weekend, while changing Karter's infant seat (yes the carrier one) out of the van and putting in his convertible seat (still rear facing) what I remember about being in the car when I was young...

Funny, I remember those booster seats with shields that you just put the lap belt over. Would that have really kept me from flying out? Probably not...

Funny, I remember riding in the back of an old pick up truck (like the bed with a cap) with my brother, probably age 7, with all our camping gear and coolers, while my parents and younger sister rode up front...

Funny, I remember many times riding in the back of a van with no seats, no seat belts, or switching the seats around so they were facing each other, using a cooler in between as a 'coffee/card table' of sorts. Actually, that was rear facing, we were probably safer that way, if we had our belts on...

Funny, I remember riding in the front seat very young, and always riding with a foot or leg out the window. I also drove this way with my left leg out the driver's window forever...

Funny, I still have to remember to not drive this way to this day, so I don't amputate my leg or put my children in danger...

Funny, that I survived all that eh? =) And am here to be a paranoid car seat freak. I think there's just more cars on the road and worse drivers, which makes us want to keep our kids safer. Good thing I grew up in the country, funny thing is, we still drive in the middle of the road there...

Birthday Charity Update

2011-03-16T10:01:00.000-04:00

No, I haven't forgotten about what I said. I've been busy watching kids, and having more computer annoyances, and everyday life, along with some research. I know a lot of people are doing walks and other events for charities and organizations coming up soon. The nicer weather coming means more of these events will be taking place. That, and it's far enough from Christmas to ask for donations, right?

I have made sure the charities and organizations are well-known and do not have any suspect activity, ones that have been around for a long time, and causes I believe in, close to the heart. Here are some I want to become a part of, whether by donating or volunteering, etc.-in no particular order:

Compassion International: Sponsor a child. I would love to sponsor a child and be able to communicate with them. You can pick or let the organization pick for you. Around $38/month.

Compassion International: Rescue Babies Now.org. A program in which the money goes to helping mamas give birth or get prenatal care or care for their babies, in more sanitary conditions, etc. I love this one! They are put in touch with churches and nurses!

March of Dimes. Wonderful organization to put money and research towards babies and the prevention of premature births. Kevin and I have done this walk before. Currently I have 2 friends who are participating in the walk-click on their names to view their page and donate. Also, thinking of my friend Kristi who'd baby girl Haylee just spent 3 months in the NICU after such an early birth.
Allisan-who will be walking while pretty pregnant with her second baby.
Karen & family-who will be walking while remembering the days their baby spent in the NICU 4 years ago.

National Kidney Foundation. My cousin Jami is in need of a kidney transplant. Donations of cash or kidneys are accepted ;) Check the site on how to become a living donor and find a Kidney walk near you! (PS Jami needs type O.)

American Diabetes Association. This past week, Kevin's aunt was diagnosed with diabetes. Our friend Josh is riding the Tour de Cure in honor of his family members who battle the disease. Click on Josh's name to go directly to his riding/donation site.

ASPCA- we are such animal lovers in this house, so this is one I definitely want to become involved in. There are local chapters as well, in your area.

Heifer.org. This one was brought to my attention and I LOVE the concept. This organization gives families donations of livestock and training to better their lives, start their small farms, which in turn helps the family AND the community they live in. Yes, you can choose to give goats, cattle, ducks, cheese, plants, etc. Tangible giving, not just money, but something they can really use.

World Vision: sponsor a child, give to Japan, give a goat, clean water fund, so many options in this organization. Another, well-known and respected charity.

Golisano Children's Hospital at Strong Memorial. From family and friends, to former clients, I know so many lives have been touched by this place and helped many.

Ronald McDonald House. With those babies and children in the hospital, many families are able to stay in the Ronald McDonald houses across the country. If you have a local one, you can help by bringing toiletries and food directly to the house to support these families.

Lollypop Farm-a local animal rescue & re-homing organization.

Cloth Diaper Foundation. This one is different, but really neat. It takes used (but still in good condition and usable!) diapers and donates them to families who want to start using cloth but can't afford it (it's cheaper in the long run than disposables, that's for sure!) and across the world. I've read reviews from military families who received diapers because of where they might be, disposable wouldn't be the best option, etc.

And there's so many others...feel free to link back up to let me know of others you love and donate to, and I should consider! It'd be great if everyone just took a minute to think about how much they have and what they can give for those less fortunate. I will keep you updated on how I am going to go about this donation process...one per month? Or what, I don't know yet.

Charity Watch-this site shows the best charities, who have good records, spend more than 3/4 of their budget on actual programs, etc. You can also search for a charity and see it's ratings.

Blood work

2011-03-11T15:44:00.002-05:00

We got some results from Karter's blood work done on Monday to check for vitamin/mineral deficiencies. Vitamin D is pretty low...but hello! It's winter in New York, no sunshine to be had to make Vitamin D! And other one year olds are drinking Vitamin D fortified whole milk, mine is not. Also his ferritin is low. That is part of the iron, but he's not anemic, if that makes sense. Too much to explain, so just go with it.

Interestingly, low vitamin D can cause....wait for it....low appetite, diarrhea and insomnia. Huh! The low ferritin means his body isn't storing the iron well. So, we're going to supplement and treat for those. No idea if it will help with his eating, sleeping or weight, but even if it doesn't, his body needs those levels raised up. Then onto the stool analysis.

Of course, last night he slept 12 hours. TWELVE! In a row. Without waking. 8pm-8:10am. My body is in shock mode ;) And it's like, the days I forget to give him the prevacid, he sleeps better. Ugh. That and lots of talking to him about sleeping and praying a lot for sleep! I'll take it!

18 months

2011-03-10T08:57:00.003-05:00

I Promise to have some pictures up soon. I'm having withdrawal. But, now my computer is reborn and I have downloaded a temporary photo program (since the other one died with the computer) so it shall be soon.

Just a brief note on Karter's 18 month appointment. We went Monday for the routine check. He's up to 20 1/2 pounds and 31.5 inches. He gained a pound in the last 3 months...not too bad. He's on his own upward growth curve, just not theirs. I'm feeling better about things and am actually starting to feel like we're going overboard in some areas. He is thriving developmentally, so I know some thing's going right.

Karter has at least 50 words now. I wrote them all down the other day, the ones I remembered hearing him say. He's beginning to put words together like "where___?" Always asking "whuh dada?" Sometimes it's "whuh my dada?" It's just different- and I try to remember he's within the average range and doing fine. But at 18 months Kian had very clear words and well over a 100, probably more like 200+ and was using 2-3 word sentences regularly. Yes, that's a bit above and a bit precocious, but I wish Karter's sounds were better and more developed. I'll get over my Early Intervention paranoid self, don't worry.

But, his motor skills are insane. Everywhere we go, people comment on that. We visited a preschool for Kian and the director couldn't stop talking about how Karter walked up the slide (yes the wrong way) and climbed around, a big, preschool size (not one of those small toddler ones) jungle gym things. She said they had some 4 year olds that couldn't do that yet. The doctor and nurse were surprised and imprssed when I told him to get up on the table he walked over to the step stool, and climbed up to sit on the table. He has been able to scale our metal scroll bed frame (foot board) since he was 12 months. People stop me in the stores because Karter has climbed out of the seat belt on the cart and is standing up or hanging over into the basket part. What do you want me to do? That's why sometimes I put him in the carrier on my back. I can't turn my back for one second, he's up and on and over everything. Of course, the jumping off part scares everyone--not me anymore. I'm desensitized I guess, but I know his abilities and don't worry about it. I remember Kian, while still able to do these things, be content to read and talk and sit more than Karter. I'm learning to appreciate the differences, don't worry!

We're seeing less of the separation anxiety (still doesn't like when I leave) but is more social and not as shy around new people. He's started waving and saying hi to everyone in the stores now, which I remember Kian doing too. They must get this from their father. I still prefer to not be in crowds or unfamiliar people ;) oh well. He's still my snuggler and thumbsucker. He loves to hold his doggy or another soft animal, or my hair, especially when tired. I'm not worried about the thumb sucking at all right now. And he has all his molars and is getting all 4 of his canine/eyeteeth, whatever you want to call them. They don't' seem to be bothering him all that much. But, maybe he'll sleep better when they're all finally in...we shall see. Sleep is doing a little better. I've stopped all the eating/drinking at night (except for water) and though he still wakes up twice a night (whether he's in our bed or his own, it has no affect) it's less frantic and he's more easily calmed from it.

We did do the blood work for some vitamin deficiencies and will get the results soon. The last thing we are going to do is a comprehensive stool analysis just to check for any malabsorption issues--passing too quickly or too slowly through his system, meaning he's not getting all the nutrients from what he's eating. If that comes up fine, then I am done. I am done with tests and done with worrying. I am just going to go with it and stop all these appointments and whatever. The natural integrative pediatrician did give us some good pointers about different foods and diff rent timings of things, that I hadn't thought of, nor had anyone else (regular ped or friends, family, etc.) so it was worth it.

And, that's about it...i just heard a whole bin of Legos be dumped on the floor...

Deodorant, Dinosaurs and Doctors, oh my!

2011-03-03T21:40:00.003-05:00

What, you ask, the heck do those three things have to do with each other? Nothing really. Well, except the dino and the deodorant. Confused? I was too.

I was taking a shower and Kian was playing in the bathroom (any other mother notice that the word 'play' should really be changed to 'getting into things and making messes'? good) and he told me his triceratops needed to be rinsed off. I asked why and he told me it was full of soap. I'm wondering where he got soap from. Peeking out, he shows me the dinosaur-covered in white stuff-and in his hand is my deodorant. Yep, took it off the counter and smooshed it all over the dinosaur. Lovely...because that doesn't come off easy. Whatever. It's still sitting in the tub, it can wait. Also, he took my deodorant and drew a few letters on the bathroom carpet with it...sigh.

After the shower we made our way to the preschool tour and the theme there was....ta da! Dinosaurs! I told Kian we were going to look at a preschool and he fought me, saying he didn't want to go to school, he didn't want to look, he wanted to stay home. I told him we were just going to look and see if he liked it. We finally pulled in the parking lot and he says "I like it!". Upon entering, he was all smiles, and when he saw all the dinosaurs (legos, in the sand table, posters, craft) he couldn't contain himself. We looked around for a half hour or so while he played and then I told him we were done. He didn't want to leave of course. I had to do the countdown warning (3 mins, 1 min) and get him out of there with a sticker from the director so there wasn't a meltdown. I told him he might be able to come back soon (they have openings now for 2 days/week! yay!) and that we just came to look today. He continues playing and says "I'm still looking!". haha.

The doctor has nothing to do with either of these things...well there were dinosaurs at the doctor's office, perhaps that is the segue I needed? But, I just needed to throw our update in there. Wednesday I took Karter to see Dr. Weinberg, an integrative pediatrician. Meaning she's a fully trained pediatrician by mainstream medical standards abut also trained in natural therapies, nutrition, supplementation, etc. It was nice to just be able to sit down and start from the beginning with Karter's issues, from in utero when we found out about his concerns on ultrasound all the way until today. I get to tell doctors and people in pieces here and there, so to have it completely from start to present, and get everything in there, and have someone just listen, was nice.

We discussed his allergy testing and possible sensitivities, reflux and medicines, sleep habits and issues, everything really. She commended me for the things I had been doing--adding papaya enzymes, using foods to try to boost his calorie intake with olive oil, using avocado, etc. And some things I had in my head but to hear them, and ordered in some sort of plan. She's ordering a few more blood tests and wants to check for vitamin deficiencies. We're also going to do a comprehensive stool analysis, to look at anything and everything that might "come out" from there...sure, pun intended ;)

So, our new course of action is:
1. Do a strict dairy(milk) and egg free diet for 3 weeks to see if it makes a difference with his eating and/or sleeping. The thought being that he is showing some allergies but sensitivities in the gut don't show up on tests. If no changes, then we can think about adding in some organic whole milk because--

2. He's lacking in fats, and some proteins in his diet. Not for lack of trying. I let this kid eat whatever he wants-pizza, sausage, hot dogs, etc. But, my kids love fruits and veggies. While this doesn't help his current weight status, it will definitely help his long-term health. So, we need to boost fats and proteins more. I shovel this kid with PB all day long, but adding more oils, margarine, meats if he will, and a different milk source.

3. She suggested Hemp milk. I know what you're thinking. No, he won't get high from it ;) But, compared to rice or almond milk, it has a higher protein content and full of omega-3 & 6. The other 3 have only 1 grams per serving. So, we'll try that.

4. Continue working on the behavioral part of sleeping through the night. I've been successful in getting Karter to go about 8-10 hours without wanting to eat/nurse/drink since beginning this process again on Monday. I just keep telling him he has to wait until morning. He still wakes a few times, but usually snuggling in with us keeps him happy until 6 or 7am. I'd love for him to be sleeping all night but, I'll take what I can get right now.

5. The other thing she suggested was for me to change the time I give him the Prevacid. I was giving it first thing in the morning, but she suggested I try giving it to him before bed. This way, if there is reflux it will curb it all night, and not "run out" by bedtime/overnight and have him wake up more. But, ultimately, we want him off it, sooner than later.

6. A few more blood tests for vitamin deficiencies and a few other things, just in case. Also, a comprehensive stool analysis to see if there are any malabsorption issues, what's being digested, what's not, and a host of other things. That will be fun collecting...no, really!

And whatever else I forgot she will be sending in a report to me and the regular pediatrician. Monday we have the 18 month check up, so will be interesting to see how much he's gained, since he's been on the Prevacid for almost 2 months now... And that is a random recap...

About my babywearing experiences

2011-03-03T13:17:00.009-05:00

In the past few weeks I have had several friends ask me about baby carriers (okay, all women) and babywearing. I thought I'd do a post on it, and then Heavenly Hold shows up today with a contest to win a Beco--a carrier I've been looking at! What perfect, divine timing...hehe. So here's some information and my favorites and recommendations--
What is babywearing you ask? According to Babywearing International's websit e:

"Babywearing" simply means holding or carrying a baby or young child using a cloth baby carrier. Holding babies is natural and universal; baby carriers make it easier and more comfortable, allowing parents and caregivers to hold or carry their children while attending to the daily tasks of living. Babywearing helps a new dad put a fussy newborn to sleep. It allows a new mom use both hands to make a sandwich. It lets an experienced parent or caregiver carry a baby on her back and wash the dishes, do the laundry, take a hike, or weed the garden, all while keeping the baby safe and content.

Couldn't have said it better myself. It's nothing new. Women have been wearing their babies for centuries. And take a peek into any third world/developing country where women are doing lots of manual labor--yep, always babywearing. It's catching on again here in the U.S., and with good reason.

For me, I wore Kian (my first) a little bit, but not a lot. I had time, I had another hand, I had a stroller, I didn't have any other kids. But, when Karter came around, I needed something. Kian was in full-pottying training mode, we were almost done and I desperately needed my hands free for helping him with that, or getting him food, etc. I had a sling before, but it was not sized properly and I ended up just getting rid of it. I ordered a Pea nut Shell sling when Kian was a year old, used it a few times for hip carries. I remembered I had it and got it out of storage. It was perfect. Karter had reflux, was fussy at times and I was able to put him in a semi-upright position and on me while I made lunches and dinners and wiped hienies ;) success.
Then, he got bigger and I wanted something that I could use more long term. I was having trouble with getting the positions right and not having pressure on my shoulders. I saw Heavenly Hold's site from another site and clicked on "clearance". I didn't want to spend a ton right away since I didn't really know what I wanted. I found an ABC (Action Baby Carrier) (or here on HH's site) half price and ordered it. Love. Love at first click. Karter was 4 mos old. He could straddle the seat just fine and it was lightweight and perfect. I still can carry him at 17 mos and 19.5 lbs in the front carry, but he's getting a bit long. I love that you cris-cross the straps over your back, it feels more supportive. However, i don't love this one for back carries. I personally had a hard time with it the bigger he gets and the waist support isn't as much as I'd like. This could be because I'm short and need the weight spread differently. I love the sleeping hood on this, as it's straight cut across, and not forms to the child's head. I felt like there was plenty of breathing and space to see out of, yet fall asleep if needed or block the sun.

But, by now, I was becoming a baby carrier researcher and follower and wanting more! Then, it happened...one day on Baby Steals (a daily "steal" site of all things baby) was an Ergo! I'd heard a lot about them, the praises, the awesomeness, I had to have it. One click and it was on it's way. Front carry, back carry, up to 35 lbs, thicker and more durable waist belts, multi-snap sleeping hood...who wouldn't want it?
Karter was now 5 months old and still couldn't quite fit into the Ergo (see here) seat by straddling it...so I waited til he was a closer to 6 months. The Ergo is firmer and a bit more structured than the ABC, has thicker, wider straps. The fabric is heavier which can translate to hotter in the summer, also because I have a black one. I don't like using the front carry on the Ergo, I could never get the hang of it, even with help. My short arms can't snap the chest/back strap clip, and I dislike that I can't criss-cross the straps while wearing baby on the front. But, the back carry makes up for those short-comings to me. It's so versatile, I can switch Kian and Karter in and out of it at any given time. Kevin and I took turns wearing the kids hiking up and down Watkins Glen. You can't do strollers in the Glen. I used the ABC with Karter on front and he'd wear Kian in the Ergo at 3 years old and 34 lbs on his back. Neither of us had any pain or discomfort in the miles we hiked up and down.

What started me in this babywearing frenzy you ask? I wanted my babies close--strollers are great, but not for those tiny babies way down close to the ground and facing away from you. I got a baby bjorn carrier (think souped-up snugli). But, after wearing Kian in it a few times around the block, it hurt. My shoulders hurt, I felt like he was pulling me forward and down. Now I see this is mostly because those cheaper carriers don't have the waist/back support belts. But, also I read some articles opposed to those types of carriers because they "hang" the babies by their crotch. The newer, nicer carriers have actual "seats", so the weight is not on the baby's crotch and is on the butt/hips, the way it would be if the baby was sitting on the floor. Plus so much nicer on the wearer's back!

I was pretty afraid of wraps and ring slings when I first started looking. But, now I think I need a wrap...well and another newborn ;) It looks like a lot of fabric, but everyone says they love theirs and that they're very comfortable.

Obviously the type of carrier you choose is personal. It depends on your needs, how often, how long, where, when you will be using it. I keep the Ergo in my van all the time-just in case-you never know when you might need it. Most babywearers end up with an assortment of slings, wraps, structured carriers, etc. because then you have lots to choose from and you can wear your child from newborn to preschooler. My husband wouldn't touch the sling but gave into the Ergo and admitted it was "pretty good". Some moms have certain carriers just so the dads will wear/use them. Here is a link about choosing a baby carrier from Babywearer.com.

It gives you freedom to do things with other kids when the baby is on your back or if baby needs a nap while you're out and about. It keeps sticky toddler fingers from pulling groceries off the shelf and standing up and out of the cart. It allows you to go places that strollers just can't go. It calms colicky, fussy babies. It gives them closeness and can keep them from over-stimulation in a busy situation (think holidays, shopping mall, etc. ) that might otherwise overwhelm them. Mostly, "it's try it and you'll like it" kind of thing. Once you find a carrier you like (love!) and you know how to use it, and get used to it, you'll probably be wearing your baby all the time. Karter is now 18 months old and I can count on one hand the times he's been in a stroller.

*Note that all pictures are from the official sites of the carriers.

Related links:

Dr. Sears & babywearing

Wiki-babywearing

Babywearing International

Now...if I could convince Kevin the Ella Belly Full Click would be good for me to own... ;)

Conversations with Kian (and Karter)

2011-02-26T20:40:00.004-05:00

Thanks to Kourt's new pup (keeping with the K traditions---he's Korbin) Kian now calls everything the way you call a puppy. He claps his hands, bends over and says 'come..., come here". Meaning, he calls me- *clap, clap* "mom, come, come here mom". Uh..woof?

The other day, Kian woke up and ran into our bed. He then pretended something was a sword to get mice and proceeded to use "in fact" and "per se", in context. "I am in fact going to get mice...I might not kill them per se". Seriously? Guess he got his mama's love of English vocab already.

Karter likes to "pee pee potty" which translates to "take of my diaper and I'll sit on there for 1.7 seconds then jump up to grab toilet paper, pretend to wipe and throw int in the toilet, then grab more and run across the bathroom with it, then ask to sit on the toilet again." Fun times. He's been pointing and saying "pee" or "poopy" in his diaper around the time he goes, so yay let the good times roll. Perhaps the second child trains faster since there is an older one to keep up with? Here's praying.

When Karter babbles things we don't understand, or a babble after a word, Kian always says "Karter said (Kian/leave me alone/bad doggy/whatever) in Spanish!" Bilingual spontaneously! Awesome!

Kian knowing how to turn on the tv is having it's drawbacks...like when he came into me the other day and told me "you need to go to Laser Spa mommy". I asked him if I was hairy, he said yes. Gee thanks!

His absorption of everything and anything also has it's high points though. He knows the differences between carnivores and herbivores, thanks to Dinosaur Train. He has learned mammals, from I don't know where. Today at lunch he told Karter he was a mammal and that bats were also mammals. Both true. Then he says "We are meat." I ask him what he means. He answers, "we are meat, our bodies are meat." I told him yes, they are, muscle, which I guess can be meat, but we don't eat people. ha.

Karter, also thinking he's funny, said "poopy" then scrunched his face...and farted. Sigh. It begins, times three.

Having an older child, one who only began saying "mine" in the last couple months (yes I got 3.5 years FREE of 'mine, mine, mine') the younger one for the last month has been saying "MINE!" and really, truly knows what it means. Ugh! We were sharing a drink and I used his straw, he pulled it away and..."mine!". Replacing the "me, me, me" he was doing a few months ago. That was much cuter.

30 for 30?

2011-02-17T20:35:00.003-05:00

Had the most awesome idea today...talk about making history! I'll be turning 30 in May. Unlike the rest of the world I"m not really "freaking out" that I'm turning 30. I don't feel any older, and most days I still feel like I look like I'm too young instead of old enough (like I still look like a college kid instead of a mom with 2 of her own kids...could be the sweats and glasses somedays? no?) Anyways...it's more like awe that I am really 3 decades old. I mean, I feel the same as I did at 18. My body, except for the obvious baby-producing areas, remains much in the same as it was at that age, some areas even better, some not so much...but nothing broken, no gray hairs, (probably some wrinkles, but i got complemented on my skin's elasticity a few weeks ago haha) no aches in my back--except while pregnant, etc.

Well, anyway, the point is...I have been reading all my friends' posts about turning the big 3-0 and some are totally hating it, some are embracing it, some don't care. But, along with this whole making history theme I've got going here, I want to make this birthday make history. No, I don't mean by the biggest bash and getting drunker than Charlie Sheen and not remembering my name in the morning and losing lots of cash in slots. I dislike being the center of attention (showers and birthdays make me uncomfortable, too much focus on me and I feel greedy) so I don't want ME to be celebrated. But, in honor of me being 3 decades old soon, I thought well, GIVE! Give back, give it away. Instead of asking for the same boring household items I always ask for (cookie sheets, towels, gift card for new shirts...yawn) why not ask people, no tell them, to not give me a gift. Instead, give the world a gift!

I want to have donations made in my name or just given to some charities and feel like something worthwhile is being done, lives are being changed. I appreciate gifts, I do, but adult gifts are boring. It's really hard thinking of things to ask for anymore. I hate asking anyways, I usually wait until people have bugged me a billion times. ;) So, I started looking into some charities/organizations...one I'm really interested in is Compassion International. They have several programs besides just the sponsor a child section, which is really cool too and something the boys could become involved in, communicating back and forth.

Then, a bigger, better idea hit me! What if I could line up 30 charities for my 30th birthday? Yes 30. If I post my ideas and my developments on facebook and my blog, perhaps I could get others to join in with me. And I don't necessarily mean huge gifts, but heck, ten bucks per charity is something! So, perhaps it's a bit out there, but I'm going to do some research and I have about 6 in mind already and I'll keep y'all updated... thinking BIG here. Enough about ME. History is in the making...

History is in the making

2011-02-15T14:30:00.003-05:00

This song by Matthew West, this week's inspiration.

I have heard this song probably a 100 times. But this weekend, while driving (my dad's awesome truck) and driving (my mom's stuff to her new house) I really heard the words.

"You know you can't stay right where you fell
The hardest part is forgiving yourself
But let's take a walk into today
And don't let your past get in the way"

In my moments of failure as a person, as a Christian, as a wife, as a mother, as whatever; i tend to focus on the failure and not the redemption. I forget the past needs to stay just that and dwelling on it only cause me to stumble more. Mercies are new each morning. Fresh start each day I awake. Potential and opportunity written all over the place. What am I doing with it? Kids like sponges, what am I doing to help them grow? In this house, how am I blessing my family with my work? On and on...

Then the final bridge plays over and over and it was my 'aha' moment.

"Would you believe that you are history
In the making, in the making
Every choice that you are making
Every step that you are taking
Every chain that you are breaking
History is in the making
Every word that you are saying
Every prayer that you are praying
Every chain that you are breaking
History is in the making
History is in the making
History is in the making"

Yes! Every word I say, every step I make, every choice, every action-good, bad, neutral, whatever I do is history in the making. Amen to chains being broken. Wait-what? Every word I say? Uh oh. Crap. See? Those words too huh? Yep. So, I've been thinking about that all weekend. Every single thing I do and see is shaping my past, shaping my future and that includes my kids, my husband, and anyone else I might come in contact with. I want to be sure that what I do is for good.

Of course there will be bad times, rough roads, harsh words, but if I can try to focus on the fact that every thing I do and say is history in the making, perhaps it will be easier. Perhaps I'll slow my tongue just enough so that someone isn't hurt by my words. Perhaps I'll put down the windex, the computer, the chocolate and remember what it is exactly that I want my history to be made of... The great things I gleaned from my own childhood experiences to pass on...

The history I want to my kids to remember--cookies for breakfast once in awhile, bubbles up to the ceiling in the bath, mama reading them so many books in the rocking chair, daddy laying on the floor building castles, not being told "stop/don't touch/no/too young" but being taught how to handle scissors and knives, confidence building, esteem so strong, love so tough, learning through life experiences instead of just reading or being told, doing is believing, knowing where to rest, and knowing where history was made... What's your history today?

Updates and resolutions (long!)

2011-02-01T14:40:00.005-05:00

So we're waiting for the big storm to hit tomorrow. Fun. Kevin's taking the day off since he doesn't have a lot of clients and the early ones will probably cancel because they won't be driving at 6am in a monster storm to workout. And if they do, they're nuts!

Karter's feeling better from the strep. No idea how he got strep throat. None of us got it, or even felt remotely sick, nary a scratchy throat. (I just try to throw special words in there sometimes.) Grocery cart? Museum toys? Something. But with every 'setback' we must regain ground. Grr. Now he's been on prevacid for just over 2 weeks and the only difference that I see is that he now wants to eat every 2-4 hours, around the clock! Yes at night he is asking to eat again. Double grr! I had him sleeping longer stretches and weaned at night for about a week or so and then sickness and meds entered the picture. Now we're back to square one. I try to feed him a lot during the day, but I think with the slightly delayed gastric emptying, he can only take in so much. He tends to want to graze a lot, which is fine and I let him, but do try to also get some good, full meals in. Still, we only get about one good meal a day. And about 3 hours of sleep at a time; with the few days being awake for 3 or so hours in the middle of the night. My body just has learned to run on autopilot.

Kian...oh Kian. He's like Jekyll and Hyde these days. Partly because of Karter demanding so much attention while sick, and partly his age. He can be so sweet and charming and funny, and then he's punching the dog, hissing at the cat, pushing Karter over. Couple that with no sleep and things can get pretty hair around here for me.

I've been having some revelations lately. Like, when I don't get to church regularly, I get more annoyed and irritable. I need that peace and encouragement. Now, we just have to decide what to do about churches. We love The Father's House, but 45 minutes is a heck of a haul and that ends up taking all day for one service. I feel like there's not a ton of choices around here, as to my criteria, (spoiled by the awesomeness of that church and all it offers) but, I want to connect with couples and moms and families in this area for us and the boys. We definitely need that.

Another thing is that I realized I have been on autopilot. I've been going through the motions. Not always in a good way. I get up when I have to, I feed them when they're hungry, I do the housekeeping that needs to be done. But, I was getting kind of depressed about it. Not like clinically, I need help and meds depressed, but blues and blahs. I was missing things about Rochester, I was missing work and my friends at work (who'd have thought?!). I was feeling useless. Feeling like whatever I was doing just wasn't much, or good enough. I know that it's not true. Maybe I do less or more, in some areas, than other moms. Maybe I am not making a difference to the town or world right now, but I am making a difference to these 2 little boys, my home, my husband. And that is my job right now. I forgot. Or something... But, I have a renewed focus to put my all into what I am called to do right now. To not just try to get the days to go by as quickly as I can, to not just get to nap time or dinner time or bedtime as fast as possible. To really pay attention.

Kevin wrote "2011 resolutions" on our white erase board on the fridge, with all of our names. Of course eating healthy and exercising more topped my list. Followed by "be more patient" and "be in the moment". Yes, I am just needing to be in the moment. Instead of trying to constantly think ahead, look ahead, hurry things up, I just need to 'be'. Also, I am realizing I'm thinking too much. I have fallen in that trap of comparing myself to other moms, my kids to other kids, etc. It's not a fun place to be. I worry enough about my own kids or have enough challenges to deal with besides comparing them to everyone else, or myself to any other mom. I make no apologies for who I am, (which is quite the opposite of who I used to be, always saying sorry and fading into the background. My friend used to tease me that I said sorry to doors I bumped into.) I don't really feel like I need to make apologies for who my kids are (unless they are doing something obviously inappropriate and wrong, of course) but sometimes inside my head I was making lists of things I sucked at, my kids needed to do better, or things I did better than other moms and things my kids already did/knew. So terrible. I just want to chuck it all and be in the moment with my boys and my husband and be more relaxed.

Speaking of relaxed...knowing I didn't sleep all weekend thanks to Karter, and Kevin taking off on Friday night for a work function and all day Sunday for ice fishing (sigh); he was super sweet to hook me up with his client and their salon school for a facial (which included neck/shoulder massage), manicure and pedicure Monday afternoon. All while he stayed home with the boys. How awesome was that? Super. Fantastic. So relaxing, so nice to be pampered and spoiled and feel girly again. Made me realize too, that I am in charge of making myself feel good or pampered sometimes. I can't just expect Kevin to read my mind and do things. I can tell him I want 15 minutes to paint my nails or something though. Those little things make me feel more feminine in this testosterone house, that give me a quick pick-me-up on the rough days.

I've also picked up something again, that I haven't in a long time. Reading my Bible. Yep. Go to church, check. Listen to Christian music, check. Look up a verse or two here and there, check. But, I haven't really read my Bible in quite awhile. Before Karter was born, I kept it right near the kitchen table and during breakfast with Kian before work I'd read some. Most days, he asked me to read it to him. Sometimes I'd find a parable in the New Testament, or Daniel in the lions' den for him, or just read whatever I was reading, and he really enjoyed it. We have begun implementing a boys' "warrior devotional" book at breakfast again for the boys.

This is showing me something else, that I need to have a plan for my family. A plan for my marriage, a plan for my kids, for my parenting. What? Sounds dumb you say? But, it's not. Otherwise, we're all just walking around blindly, from day to day, going through the motions, what's our point? It doesn't have to be huge, but it can be. For example, in my parenting I want to raise children who are respectful (one struggle lately!), responsible (contributing to society in some way) and who have good values and morals and live their lives in tune with God. I haven't thought much about a 'marriage plan' before, except the usual: get married, have jobs, buy house, have kids, etc. But, I want more out of it. I have been thinking lately, it doesn't have to be tangible, like my parenting goals, it can be emotions and ways of acting. Completely honest, and it might be tough for some to hear, but I want to break this legacy of divorce. It's all too common and some don't think it's a big deal, but knowing that the last 3 generations of my families have been divorced (admittedly, having 4 sets of grandparents was cool). I just want to break that cycle. I want to grow old with my husband, my first and only. I want us to have great communication (like all, we could do better in this area!). I want to share goals and support each other in opportunities and keep those feelings alive. It's work. I know. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's really difficult.

I'm learning I need to not think as much, not talk as much, be happy in the silence. Which is funny, because somedays that's all I'm trying to get--silence! Content in the moment. It's strange, I'm not big in material things, I don't really want material things. I want certain behaviors, emotions, actions, expectations...things that are hard to grasp and hold onto and yet so important. I need to feel more centered instead of like a pendulum, wildly swinging from side to side on some days. To focus on me some more instead of being the martyr mom, to put more effort into God and spiritual things, to laugh more with my kids instead of thinking about the noise level, to take my happiness up another level. To take back control instead of letting the world control me. And, to lose the last 5 lbs I want to lose! Here's to a happy, healthier, new year and new me!

Grading day: Fail

2011-01-23T20:51:00.002-05:00

Sigh. Big, huge sigh.

I think I have a big, fat F- stamped on my head right now. I just have been "failing" at a lot lately. I feel like I"m failing. I feel like a failure. I'm not...right?

It's like every time I get over one hump, there's another one. Yes, I know, that's life. But, from the one who doesn't do change well, it's a heck of a lot of change in the last few months. Yes, good change too!

Karter...oh, Karter. I know that so many other parents are battling serious issues with their children. I know that Karter is happy, he's growing (at his own ridiculous pace) he's smart, he's cute, he's mostly healthy in a general sense. But, I also know there's something going on inside his stomach or digestive tract that is out of wack. I know we're dealing with some chronic characteristics I just want to find an answer for. Does it impact us majorly, daily? Sometimes, mostly not, but at times. Great answer, huh? I won't go into details because i have done that often enough.

But, he had another another 'bug' this week, fever, throwing up, generally feeling like garbage as he exhibited by screaming non-stop several hours a day and not sleeping and not letting me put him down for anything. And I mean anything. This is wearing, like grating on nerves, irritating, especially on no sleep. Especially with a healthy, rambunctious, wanting your attention too, child.

So, I did what any loving, kind, caring, sane, perfect mother would do...I yelled, I threatened, I hid in the bathroom, swatted, growled and even stomped my feet. Sigh. And, I gave up and cried too. A million Lego pieces scattered on the carpet (the tiny ones, and yes a million) dirty dishes from 2 days, 6 loads of laundry done with one (non-dominant) hand due to said child not being put down, loading the dishwasher with a hand and a knee, being climbed on by feeling-well child....I couldn't take it anymore. When you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?

When you can't 'fix' your child and make them feel better, when you can't keep up on the housework, when you can't give the attention you want to give, when one suffers because the other needs you 'more', when you barely say hi to your husband and you tell everyone to fend for themselves for dinner...yeah, I get an F. F for failure.

Why can't I figure out what is really causing Karter's issues? Why can't I make him feel better and get the laundry done? Why can't I spend one on one time with Kian and mop the floor? Why can't I be more pleasant to my husband who's had a long day at work for us but I'm so tired I can't even think of a nice thing to say? Fail. Epic fail.

I know that I am not a failure. I know in the grand scheme of things, these couple days, hopefully, won't be remembered. I know we'll all survive. But, in the moment, it sucks. I suck. I feel like people think I'm making a big deal out of nothing with Karter. I sometimes think there's nothing wrong with him, he's just small. But, then another round of stomach ailments that no one else in the house has and I know something's going on. I think people hate me. I think people think I'm a "know it all" and act like a stuck up mom. I really don't try to be. I like to read and research and learn things so when I find out interesting info and things that seem to be important or detrimental to health I like to share them. I have no intention of gloating about my kids' latest accomplishments except that it excites me, and I want to have record of these things. I don't do it to make another parent feel bad if they're child isn't doing such and such, and we all know I'm openly sharing my frustrations and concerns about Karter as well as challenges with Kian.

See, there you have it. Transparent. I suck sometimes. Thankfully, a friend reminded me the other day that I do not suck. I am not a failure. That God doesn't think I'm a failure and those thoughts are not from him. It's okay to feel the things I am feeling. It was nice to feel validated. And to just be encouraged, especially from someone who is dealing with medical issues with her own child, more intense than Karter's. (Say a prayer for Jordan!) God gave me these kids and He will help me raise them, even when I do suck! =)

I now channel Miley Cyrus:

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaken

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

Chasey Dog and A preschooler's lesson in untimely death

2011-01-15T21:06:00.004-05:00

We lost Chase (we meaning Kourtney and Jeremy, but Finn and us are going to miss him immensely!) last night. We're all sad. He got hit by a car and was gone right away. He was a good listener, especially when Finn wasn't/isn't! Finn is going to miss him tons because no one else will play with him the way Chase did. I'll miss him licking my hands all the time. Finn was looking for him today when they came in the door. Chase was always right behind Kourtney to come tackle Finn-or maybe it was Finn tackling Chase?

And then there's the part about explaining it to Kian. Karter might notice he's not around anymore, but obviously way too young to get it. I tossed and turned all night, feeling terrible about Chase, and for Kourt and Jeremy, and thinking of how to tell Kian. Do I just wait? Wait until he starts noticing that Chase hasn't come over in awhile? Asks for him? But, he'll probably notice that Kourtney and Jeremy are upset... Do I tell him right away? How? What do I say? Do I explain about the getting hit by a car? Do I just...what?

So, after 3 hours of sleep last night (for me), at 7 am sharp, Kian climbs in our bed, like every morning, stating "it's 7 o'clock, time to get up!" I snuggled him in next to me and just winged it. Told him I had something to tell him, something sad. I told him that Chase got hit by a car last night, and was not alive anymore and we were sad about that. Then I just let him ask the questions of how and why, etc. First, he thought that we could "get Chase new skin to be alive again". Mostly, he's very sad for Finn to not have his brother anymore. In away, I'm glad, because I hope that means he understands the 'brother-ship' (is that my new word? relationship with your brother) and has it with Karter too. Again at bedtime we prayed for NeeNee and Jeremy and the dogs to not be so sad. I had to explain what death meant all over again. He wanted to get Chase new eyes and bones...sigh. I wish it were that easy for animals as well as people.

Some people don't believe that animals go to heaven. Some say the Bible is clearly against that, some say it's clearly for it. For us, we believe animals do go to heaven. Some say that animals don't have souls and therefore will never go to heaven. I'll tell you why I believe they will be there. 1. God created all these beautiful animals and placed them in the garden of Eden with Adam, and he was to take care of them and live with them. He did so peacefully until he sinned, that's when animals and humans became enemies (some of them?). 2. How does a human decide what a God-given soul is? Maybe God gave animals different souls and spirits than humans, but that doesn't mean they don't have any, and it doesn't mean they can't go to heaven. 3. Heaven is the most wonderful place beyond our wildest, greatest imaginations. We can never dream or conceive of how amazing and beautiful heaven will be. It says that we will never have any wants or needs in heaven. I fully believe that means having our pets and other animals there too, because if they weren't, couldn't we "want" or "need" them? And if heaven is more fulfilling than we can comprehend, that would include animals too. And what about the 'lion laying down with the lamb'?

So, we discussed that Chase's body got broken and he couldn't live anymore, but his spirit went up to heaven with God. Then we discussed how we could see him someday when we're really old and die and go to heaven. Then, Kian told me he wanted to talk to God. I told him he could, anytime. He wanted God to be down here to talk to him. I tried to use the analogy that sometimes mommy is in the kitchen and you're in the living room, and you talk to me, but you can't see me, that's how it is talking to God. I don't know how much he understood that. He usually processes for a couple hours or days and then we discuss it again. And...it led to a discussion about why we have to be very safe and cautious around the road, parking lots and cars.

Some of you are saying "it's a dog". But, the animal lovers like us, get it. And death, no matter what or when or how, gives you pause to view your life and everyone in it. It makes you hug a little tighter, a little longer, speak a little kinder...realizing it only takes an instant to be gone forever.

Lessons, lessons, lessons--life is just one lesson after another. Some happy, some sad. Some good, some bad. Big, small, we just need to see what it's teaching us and make use of it...

Sanctus Real-Say Goodbye
So say goodbye 'cause you'll be leaving soon
I know it's hard, and I'll be missing you
I know it's time to say goodbye

I know the road, has worn You down
You never broke, you always held your ground
But now it's time to say goodbye

Say goodbye
Say goodbye

And though you're gone I
remember now the time we shared,
Your words still ring out
You're never far, you're in my heart

Someday we'll meet again
'Cause that's how the story goes
It's so hard to say goodbye
Say goodbye

These things take time-sanctus real
I wanna know why pain makes me stronger
I wanna know why good men die
Why am I so afraid of the dark but I stray from the light?

I wanna know why You gave me eyes when faith is how I see.
Tell me, is it easier to doubt or harder to believe?
Oh so many questions stirring in me.

And I'm wondering why.
Sometimes the truth ain't easy to find.
I want to know all the answers, but I'm learning that;
These things take time, yeah
These things take time.

How can success make us feel like failures?
And the harder we fall the harder we try
The more I have the more I need just to feel like I'm getting by.
Oh so many questions in one short life.

And I'm wondering why.
Sometimes the truth ain't easy to find.
I want to know all the answers, but I'm learning that;
These things take time, yeah
These things take time.

And we spend so much time
Chasing our tails
Hopin' to find
Every last answer
To everything in life.
So many questions
Not enough time...

We all want to understand why;
Evil lives and good men die
On the way to Heaven the truth unwinds.
These things take time
These things take time
Yeah, these things take time.

Tricks and tweaks for Karter

2011-01-12T13:43:00.004-05:00

As I'm beginning to type this, I am waiting for the doctor's office to return my call about the gastric emptying test Karter had last Friday. There are a few things we've been trying out and trying to get done or get over in the last few weeks: more solid sleep at night (maybe less during the day), improved eating, removing eggs, etc. Some days it seems to work, other days, not.

Sleeping through the night: I admit, I really just would like to sleep more than 3-4 hours in a row. Like, 6 would be nice. And it's not like he even wakes up quietly or nicely, which I could deal with better, I think. He wakes up and yells. If he's in our bed, he kicks and rolls around and has a particular side and way he wants to lay next to me and gets mad if I move. Can't win. And no, we can't cry it out--he shares a room with Kian, and I don't want to, and he's not the kind of kid who would even do that--okay sure if I wanted to let him scream for 12 hours straight. Anyways, we were hitting some longer stretches and no eating during the night and I was feeling like we were on a good path, but there's always snags. Of course, I started watching a couple kids for a couple weeks so, I changed his routine again. He's sensitive to that sort of thing. But, amazingly flexible about other things.

Removing eggs: We got the allergy test results few weeks before Christmas and it surprised us with the allergy to eggs. The doctor told us the results were "mild-moderate" and that straight eggs would probably be best to stay away from, but in baked goods would probably be fine. Just before Christmas I had also introduced some organic whole milk as it seemed dairy issues were diminishing. But, of course, why would we not get a stomach bug the week before the holiday? We all got over it in a day or 2, but Karter's diarrhea lasted for just over 2 weeks. Ugh. Kevin finally said to me "Stop. Just stop. Stop the milk. Stop the eggs. Don't give him the things we think might be bothering him." So, I did. No eggs, no mayo, no eggs in other foods, no milk, no yogurt, nothing. And, lo and behold, the diarrhea stopped within 2 days. AND, to top it off, since stopping the eggs, it's been a week and a half, Karter's appetite has improved immensely! He's been eating like crazy, not a huge first-thing-in-the-morning eater, but asks to eat all day long. I give him what he wants and them some. It's a huge struggle but I've been able to turn down more fruit and give him -sigh-potato chips haha.

Another thing with the weight, is that, Kevin's side is thin. His father's side is very tall and thin. Kevin has a high metabolism and has a hard time keeping weight on. Also, it's what we eat. We don't do processed foods hardly. Lunches are lean meats, veggies and fruits. Sometimes it's just hummus and veggies and pita chips (hummus being beans) or guacamole with tortillas and more veggies. We do pizza like once a week, or eat out maybe once a week, but even then, it's not overly fried, fatty foods. We're just healthy eaters, and the foods Karter loves (bananas, apples, beans, etc.) aren't foods that are going to put weight on him, except the peanut butter.

Okay, doctor just called back. Karter's emptying was slightly delayed. Not a lot he said, but it showed up a little. I don't remember the numbers. Also, he did show some reflux. Now, to be fair I gave him yogurt for the test. Perhaps it was the dairy, perhaps it's the reflux. Perhaps, it's both. We agreed to try the reflux meds again and when we meet for his 18 month check up in March we'll assess how it's going. I think this, combined with the egg free and minimal dairy diet, will really help. Well, I'm hoping it will really help. This guy needs some weight on him and to get taller. So, that is that for this week...we'll see what happens once he's back on the reflux meds.

Milestone (over) awareness and development charts

2011-01-09T16:20:00.003-05:00

If 6 years in Early Intervention taught me anything...it taught me to be hypervigilant about my kids' developmental milestones. This can be a good thing (I know what the warning signs are and what to watch out for) but not so good (ahem, slight obsession with little things). I know that repetitive behaviors, echolalia and sensory issues can mean Autism spectrum disorders (note I said 'can', not always). I know that not walking until 16 months isn't always an issue and can be within normal development range. ...And lots of other things.

It's those other things that I tend to remember and be hypervigilant about, perhaps even slightly obsessed. It's a blessing and a curse. I monitor my kids constantly for their development skills, mostly without realizing it. It's how I know that Karter automatically qualifies for EI due to his failure to thrive diagnosis, if he was showing other delays obviously. It has crossed my mind a time or two, to call and see where he's at.

My current observations are Kian's fine motor skills. They're a bit poor. It could be because he's a lefty like me and I think (from my experience) it takes a bit more to get used to, in a "backwards" world. It's not even expected of him to trace or write yet, that comes later, but he should be drawing some more shapes-something other than scribbles. When I ask him and get him focused he can draw circles and shapes, but it's not easy for him, and sometimes he presses too hard and breaks tips of utensils. Thanks to a great OT I worked with before, she gave me some more ideas to improve his hand strength and fine motor skills.

On the other hand, Karter's fine motor skills are awesome. He's been using a spoon and fork correctly since his birthday, a skill that's more of an 18 month expectation. With Karter, it's obviously the eating, calories and speech that I'm watching. He's starting to say more words, which is good, almost 2 dozen--"oh wow" being my favorite. I do think there's some sounds, or lack of, I am watching right now, that he should have already.

What is troublesome for me, is that I know this stuff because I worked in the system, but every other-every day parents don't know these things. The checklists that magazines, pediatricians and websites give for parents to view and compare that their child is doing, are minimal and sometimes downright pathetic. Parents aren't (still!) being told what to look for with Autism. They were supposedly implementing the MCHAT (Autism checklist for toddlers--also very bare-bones, I think) at pediatric appointments, and I've never been asked any of the questions. Also, pediatricians and doctors ask yes/no questions about child development. Instead of asking "how many words does your child say, and tell me some" they say "does he say about 10 words?" It's a very broad range of normal and parents just say 'yes'. Or "is your child walking yet?" No one asked to actually see Kian walk until I brought up concerns when he was younger about his flat feet. The quality of their walking is just as important as if they are walking. But, if the parent actually answers with more information it would give the doctors a lot more insight to the child's development, more than that 10 minutes weighing/measuring check ever does.

I know I have been guilty of just nodding and saying yes to things that weren't entirely truthful. (Does your child sleep in a crib alone with no blankets? Uh, why yes. *fingers crossed behind back.*) And what a parent might think is "no big deal" because it doesn't bother them, in their house, or interfere with their daily routines, can really be a big deal, and very troublesome and it might not be caught for months or years.
*The MCHAT, in my opinion is looking for severe Autism symptoms and characteristics. But there's a wide spectrum and different characteristics other than hand-flapping, non-verbal kids, and some of those aren't mentioned on the checklist, or not explained well.

It's not just Autism either, there's plenty of other issues and concerns--physical disorders, language, visual, sensory, or delays that could be caused by illness or disease-or be symptoms of serious conditions/illnesses, on and on. Yes, all kids have different strengths and weaknesses, and everyone develops at different rates. But, especially, new parents may miss red flags, or are told by well-meaning parents and doctors to "wait it out". Sorry, but after working for 6 years with kids who's parents "waited it out" and were on the cusp of being 3 years old and not talking, or just receiving a diagnosis and now being thrust into the school districts to navigate their special education committees, why wait?

Of course no one wants anything to be wrong with their child. I can't imagine serious illness or disabilities. Failure to thrive, not gaining weight, is frustrating enough, as it is. I guess I'm just a believer in "better safe than sorry" when it comes to developmental testing, or "sooner is better" to work on any delays. And in NY, the help is free... Now I shall go back to my regularly scheduled vigilance on Karter's food intake, Kian's pencil gripping, Finn's barks per minute... you know, typical stuff ;)

Some of the better lists:
CDC checklists

Mayo clinic charts

Autism signs

Keep kids healthy

Zero to Three

and this is why i never sleep and have no friends i'm sure of it...

Day 4 and the test update *and an edit

2011-01-07T20:42:00.003-05:00

Last night, Karter slept from 8pm until 4:15 am. He wanted a little snack (couple bites of Kevin's danish again) then back to sleep until 6am. That's when I let him come in my bed and/or nurse. Good deal. That's success to me. That's the longest he's ever slept. That's considered overnight. I'm happy for now. I, of course, couldn't fall asleep for over half an hour, laying in bed at 10:30 just waiting for him to wake up, but he didn't!

I can tell it's been good for him sleeping longer stretches because today he only had a 20 minute nap due to his test at Strong, and he was fine. Not even crabby....well, until he had to be velcro-strapped onto a board under the machine. Ugh! They wanted him to drink his cup of juice or milk or whatever, after not eating for 2 hours (that was not fun, Kian and I sneaking lunch before we went, with Karter following us around "eee! eee!" to eat). Karter's not a big drinker, unless he wants to be. I brought a yogurt and talked to the tech. She told me "you're the mom, you know him best, whatever you think he will get the most in, give him that." So, we mixed the radioactive stuff in his yogurt. She told me not to get it on his shirt or it would show up in the test. Here's me, feeding radioactive yogurt to my kid, getting it on my hands and there's Kian, sitting in the midst of all these machines and chemo signs. Hmm...felt a bit odd, like I hoped they weren't getting poisoned. ;) But we found out Karter can say "out" and/or "off" as he lay there screaming those words, trying to rip the velcro vest straps off. More words-yay!

They had to take a picture every 5 minutes for the first 30 minutes, then he could get down and it'd be every 15 minutes. Well, having your already tired, hungry, thirsty, annoyed 16 month old strapped to a papoose board under a big x-ray machine...not fun. He screamed and thrashed and cried these big, wet tears. But, the boys made out like bandits with all the stickers from the receptionist and tech. Cool ones too, not cheap tacky ones. Farm scenes to create on stickers. Cool, I tell ya. So Karter took to chucking the toys at the tech, from under the machine, being velcroed down. Luckily, she thought it was funny. She complimented his 'good arm' and said he should be a quarterback and she didn't blame him. His aim, super good, he almost hit her every time. Ah it was funny. But, anyway, the test only took about an hour, so I'm assuming he didn't have slowed digestion...we'll see if it's fast (which we were thinking) not sure about the reflux. We could have had results later afternoon or definitely by Monday, but I'm not stressing about it.

Oddly enough, this week I stopped milk, cheese and eggs. His diarrhea cleared up the next day. I gave him the pillow back in his crib-it was mine, so my smell plus the raising of his head, and he slept 8 hours the next day. I'm just tweaking things here and there to see what we can figure out. of course he's been eating a lot the last few days. He looks a little chubbier, I tried to weigh him and it looked like about 21 lbs. I hope that's right, but I'm skeptical since he was 18.8 2 weeks ago, but stranger things have happened. We're getting there, little by little...

I took them to Build-a-bear to get clothes for their Christmas bear and owl, and we got Moe's Southwest grille for dinner, mmm! Hopefully that made up for the crappy 2 hours in a hospital being velcroed to a board. Poor kid. Moe's is my new love...Kian's too, he always asks for "moo moo Mr. cow" meal. ha!

On a funny note--Kian asked for a new pet in the car. He asked for a turtle. I said no, turtles are boring, disease-ridden and don't do anything fun. He informed me that they "go in their shell for 3 hours in the morning, then come out and swim and talk to me, then go in their shells at night, they are too fun Mom." Right. So, the answer was no. "Okay, then I want a baby sister. A tiny one, not a big baby sister, a tiny baby sister. She has to be tiny so I can hold her." Agreed, done. I said "well, you'll have to tell daddy to put one in my belly." His answer? "No, I will tell God to put her in your belly." Touche! Kid knows it. His daddy's just refusing to see the writing on the wall ha!

Also the other highlight of Kian's day, seeing the Mercy Flight helicopter right over our heads and land on the roof next to us. We got out of the car in the garage and all of a sudden we were about deaf. We ran to the open windows of the garage to watch the helicopter land on the roof. He was in awe. It was pretty cool, but I had to tell him it wasn't that cool because it meant soemone got hurt bad. That thing is one heck of a copter!

Mission: Get Karter to sleep through the night

2011-01-05T08:48:00.005-05:00

So there's the mainstream camp who's kids have been "trained" to sleep through the night since like 4 months old and think I'm utterly insane for having a 16 month old whose never slept through the night. And nursing him no less, I must be a crunchy nut-pretty much. Then there's the AP (attachment parenting) camp who thinks I should probably co-sleep and nurse longer, even at night.

Yeah, well, what are you going to do about it? We've done what's worked best for us thus far, and for Karter. Especially given his low weight and concerns, I haven't felt to stop that night feeding up until now. And even now, it's more for my benefit and comfort, but his as well. I think he'll sleep better and not as many hours per day if he gets a solid chunk at night. 16-18 hours of sleep per day for a 16 month old is, by most standards, too much. I hope that by getting him to sleep maybe 8-10 straight hours at night we'll scale back the need for so many naps and so much sleep during the day.

Phase I has been night weaning. Yes, he's still nursing. Not often, a couple times at night and a couple times during the day. And somedays if he didn't nurse, then he'd probably have zero calorie intake. So, it is what it is. Thus far I have found that bringing him in bed with me creates a constant want for him to nurse, so step one was to return him to his crib, or only bring him to my bed after he'd calmed from waking. He's becoming a very restless sleeper, kicking and throwing blankets off and has actually slept better in his own bed. This wasn't always the case, up until about October he slept better in our bed. And we both didn't care as it allowed us all to get more sleep. The boys always start in their own beds. Kian comes in our room maybe twice per week.

We started Monday night. The holiday drama was over, we were back to routine bedtimes and daily normalcy. I told him ahead of time that we'd rock at night or have a snack but not nurse. The first night he woke up every 2-3 hours but went back to sleep after about 10 minutes of rocking. Last night he woke up every 4-4.5 hours and at 3:30 am asked for a snack instead of rocking. He had half a pastry (Kevin's little treats ha!) then went back to sleep. When he wakes up after 6am, I let him come in our bed or nurse. Usually he then falls back to sleep and stays asleep til 9 or so, after transferring him to his crib. I can live with that.

I'm sure many are wondering why Kevin doesn't partake in this wonderful process? Two main reasons: Karter won't let him-or anyone else comfort him and second-Kevin gets up at 4:30 am, that's good enough for me.

I'm counting on about a week of this process to fully get over the night weaning and start stretching the wakings to longer periods of time. I don't need a quick fix, I haven't slept through the night since April of 2009. Yes, I remember because it's when I started getting up several times a night to pee while pregnant with Karter. Oh well. Part of being a parent. I'm just hoping we start getting better sleep, especially Karter, because it's well known the body can't function or repair itself on little or poor sleep. I think this might in turn help his weight and growth issues. He definitely made up for any lost calories during the day. That and no dairy or eggs the last couple days and we've seen the diarrhea almost gone. Little steps, little victories.

More random Christmas pictures

2011-01-04T16:33:00.007-05:00

To prove that Kevin does dress up once or twice a year, and doesn't just wear Mid-town black workout uniform forever:

I told you my boys love Norah.

Love these guys. Love these boys who love their mama. Love this man who loves his wife. (totally in country song mode, obviously)

I told you he was the Godfather...

Probably the best shot out of 8 that I took of these 6 guys.

Yep Norah again ;)

Don't ask...

Good morning Christmas!

The same birthday boys--Uncle Packy and Karter

Special gift from Papa

Dino bank!

If only I'd taken more, good, pictures...but always in the rush, cooking, watching, refilling, well and enjoying it all too...

Preparing for Christmas: in photos--backwards

2011-01-03T20:30:00.007-05:00

I just can't figure out how to get blogger to put these in the right order. And I'm not dragging them up and down. So, you get our backwards, reverse chronological Christmas preparations.

Cookie making and frosting:

Merry Babylegs to you

Attempts at a Christmas card photo--I'm pretty proud of how some of these turned out actually.

Except for creepy snowman guy peeking in the back!

A breather please

2011-01-01T20:53:00.004-05:00

Whoa. Hold on just a minute. I need to sit down. No, nothing crazy, no exciting news. I just need to find a chair and relax for a bit. I haven't stopped in the last month and a half, baking, visiting, hosting, holidays, parties, crafts, cleaning, mopping, washing, shopping, wrapping, decorating, cooking, frosting, mailing, who knows what else. I've done so much, thought about everything, got things for everyone and thought about everyone, except me. In all the hustle and bustle, I forgot about me.

The holidays were great, amazing really. I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas. It was really, truly, joyful, happy, calm, (well- a little chaotic with kids and gifts, but you know) just enjoyable. So much I had hoped for, but was afraid to ask for. Everyone was happy, (well until they started throwing up the next day) and it was probably the best I could ask for after all the changes we've all endured the last few years. It was sincere. It wasn't pretending that it was how it used to be. It was taking it as it was and just enjoying the day, the season, the people, the gifts, the food (until that food came back up 12 hours later I suppose, hehe).
*Somehow 3 of 10 people we saw Christmas eve, got sick, along with 5 of the 12 we were with on Christmas day, got sick throwing up the following day. But, we did not. And no, I did not poison the food!*

I am, by nature, a "giver", a "doer", a "helper", so I want to, really want to, give. Be it in forms of cooking, cleaning, hosting, gifts, something that makes that person think, or just feel, thought of, or noticed, or taken care of. And I truly enjoy finding gifts and ways to make people feel that way. Throw a party for everyone and make food, taking days to shop and wrap and feed you all I got? No problem, love it. Until...I'm dead on my feet. Until it's over. Until I feel "gived out" (the past tense Kian prefers). And, then I don't know how to convey that. I get antsy, I get claustrophobic, I get irritable. I want my house and my house only and no one else in it. It's my refreshing time. Some people get refilled by being out and about and with other people. Not me, I get my refilling and refueling by being in my house with just my little family and not having to answer anything or do anything. Of course, then I feel lazy and start doing things around the house....I just can't stop.

I have a problem getting Kevin to understand it. He does the homebody and the social butterfly equally well. He has no problem having company or going somewhere and doing things every single day of the week. Sometimes twice a day. I do. We';re different in how we recharge. He gets annoyed at me, and I get mad at him for not letting me just be, just stay home, just not have people around. Tomorrow will be the first day in over 2 weeks, that we will not have company or somewhere to go. Two weeks. Every day for about 16 days, people here, some place or function to be at. It's making me batty, I was starting to get a tic last night until Savannah brought me a bottle of Strawberry Arbor mist! I'm so thankful I can just have that day tomorrow. Nothingness. Playing with Christmas toys. Enjoying the last few days of the Christmas tree. Reading the paper. Eating leftovers yet again. Possibly even savoring that last glass of wine in the bottle...

Today, we took down most of the Christmas decorations. I hate to see them go, but at the same time I'm ready. I can only handle so much garland drooping yet again, so many knocked over tin snowmen, so many nativity pieces losing heads or ears and finding little glass lambs in my baking cupboards, Mary under Karter's crib, ornament hooks in my sock...you know what I'm talking about. I'm also trying to think of ways to fit in more time for myself this year. It's not easy, I feel guilty doing things for myself. The most I've really done is take that boxing class over the summer. How I miss it. I hate spending money on myself, I hate feeling indulgent... Is it a firstborn thing? Is it a me thing? How do I balance it? I have no problem buying and doing for others, why not myself? Seems selfish I think. But, I'm seeing that when I don't take that time, I get anxious and irritable and I lose my patience and I'm no good for my family. When I don't just splurge a bit and buy the stupid jeans that actually fit me, instead of being miserable pulling and hiking up the ones that are too big, complaining all the while, I actually feel better about myself and my attitude changes.

We've also realized how little time Kevin and I have made for each other in the last year. The guilt thing again, I tell ya. Of course it's more challenging when you're nursing a baby, you can squeeze in short amounts of away time. Now that Karter is older, even though he's still very much a mama's boy, I can get away for a bit. It's the sitter part that was holding us up, but I think I've now found one and can't wait to use some of the gift cards Kevin received from his clients. So lovely of them, we'll have a few nice dinners thanks to them! That's when we start getting crabby with each other. It's good we're realizing this, yes, and working on ways to prevent meltdowns with each other or the kids or whatever. It's just never easy. But, we're also seeing the reasons for vacations and downtime and I think we'll be planning something this summer that is more than just a weekend thing. It will be good for all of us.

So...here's to a new year. A new year of realness, of being in the moment; of enjoying life; of not letting life pass me by while I'm busy washing another pot or floor or worrying about refilling the food instead of enjoying my friends, family and company. A new way of being. A new sincerity in every aspect of my life--my family, my kids, my husband, myself!, my health (exercise!), my faith. Worry less, hold onto less negative and hold onto more positive, inhale life instead of exhaling with so many sighs. To not put off for tomorrow, what I should be enjoying today. I hope you do too.

Trim-a-tree

2010-12-30T11:14:00.001-05:00

Merry Merry Merry!

2010-12-23T22:54:00.003-05:00

We're so excited. This house is bustling with Christmas activity and we are loving it. Kian's figured out Christmas and gifts and he's over the moon. Trying to reign in the receiving part, can be tricky. But, seeing the boys' excitement is making me so excited.

The last couple years of holidays have been...transitional. So, this feels good. I'm not worrying about anything (except if my cinnamon rolls are going to rise right, or I remember to turn the oven on) just enjoying things.

Well, enjoying as much as I can being the hostess on Christmas day, bringing lots of goodies and food for Christmas Eve, another family party for the in-laws on the 26th, more food to bring, being the sole shopper and wrapper...uhh yeah but that's another story.

I'm a bit sad that the 26th won't be our usual, annual, stay at home together, do nothing, hang out with Jon day. Boo! Feels like a lot of running around crammed together! But, I'll take it.

Of course everyone likes getting gifts, but this year I haven't even really thought about myself, thinking of a list for Kevin was hard enough, because it's just so fun watching the kids and getting things for them and making things with them and just being and doing and discovering Christmas all over again!

Enjoy a blessed Christmas Day!

Conversations with Kian

2010-12-22T09:27:00.002-05:00

We woke up all snuggled together, the boys and I. He rolled over, looked at the clock and said "It's 7-3-0". I told him, yes it was 7:30.

He sits up, and says "I want a number bed."

"Well, they don't make number beds" I say.

"Yes they do, the tv said they do."

I asked him, "you mean a bed shaped like a number?"

"No, it's square, rectangle, a bed, a number bed."

Ahh, I think I got it now. Who hasn't seen the infomercials for the sleep number beds?

"Well, that's the numbers for how hard or soft the mattress is, like for people with bad backs." I tell him.

Reaching around, grabbing his back he says, "I have a bad back, I need a number bed!"

Well, son wait until you're 80 okay?

Busy, busy, busy

2010-12-20T21:03:00.002-05:00

I'm sick. I don't have time to be sick. This evening I was actually able to get off the couch for the first time without thinking I was dying. Karter started it. Last night, he was walking around the kitchen, stopped and just threw up his dinner and milk. Then again. And again. And almost every hour until 3:30 am. That was fun. At first I thought it was his major intake of all things dairy over the weekend (pediasure-which he doesn't drink, cookies and baked goods made with real butter, frosting, cheese, pizza, macaroni and cheese-yeah so much for introducing it slowly. Sorry kid!) But, then I started feeling really yucky about 5 am. I didn't throw up, I tried not to, but really I probably just should have and then my stomach wouldn't have felt like the Civil War cannons pounding around inside it. Ugh.

After 6 hours worth of naps, Karter was feeling considerably better. Some crackers, drinks and more drinks and he could play for half hour here and there. Finally, I am starting to feel better. I'm hungry but afraid to eat. I just can't really afford this time to be sick. I have a cape I want to sew Kian for Christmas. I've resigned to the fact that Karter's won't be made by this Christmas. Easter? Birthday? Something. I've been doing, doing, doing and on the go for the entire month really. Shopping done, wrapping in process, baking like crazy, cleaning, laundry, every day stuff...you name it. And yet, still more to do. I had plans this week, not sickness.

But, as Mary knows, somethings just can't be planned on, can they? (Nice segue, eh?) I love this time of the year, my favorite holiday-right with Easter. I often find myself identifying with Mary, since becoming a mother. To hear the stories of Jesus, the conception, the birth, the life, the death and crucifixion as a person is one thing, but to hear them from a mother's heart, is completely different. It has changed my view, finding deeper meaning and connection at times. The obedience of a servant girl, giving birth in a stable, amazes me. Maybe if she had known the details she might have hesitated? Giving birth with all the luxuries and amenities and technology at my fingertips in what was essentially a hotel room, I can't even begin to imagine. But, she said yes. And a world was saved. (Well the ones that want to be...)

We are pointing first to the Christian beginnings of the holiday for the boys, with the traditional customs following behind. Reminding them the reason for the season, then the fun that follows. It's magical. Each and every ornament brought a sparkle to someone's eye. Each tree we looked at was "the one". Each cookie, each sprinkle, fascinating. And of course, each toy wanted. Even the wrapping paper was awe inspiring. Perfect. Wonder how long this phase lasts? Karter was a tiny baby last year so he was just amazed when he woke up from a nap one afternoon to see trees and ornaments and decorations everywhere. They've both been pretty good about leaving things put, even the dog. Save for the nativity sets, but they are ones they're allowed to play with. Kian collects the 3 baby Jesus', some end up in Lego castles, some in shape sorters. Karter just carries them around everywhere he goes.

Each morning Kian wakes up and says "Mommy, it's Christmas!" Sadly, it's not. So, I am excited for Saturday when he does wake up and yell that and I can say "yes! it is!". And, like every year when I was younger, we will read the Christmas story along with the gift opening. And, I really can't wait!

Did I mention....

2010-12-16T08:06:00.003-05:00

that Kian "gave" Karter what looks like second degree burns on his finger? Oh yes. The bad thing about this house being big and not totally open is that I cannot see what goes on if I am upstairs or in the laundry room, etc. for a few moments. Kian got out my glue gun (didn't think he could reach it without a chair in the hallway shelf) plugged the sucker in on the kitchen floor. Yep. I hear crying and he says "Karter got burned on your glue gun". What?

I ran cold water over it for a few minutes as he'd let me. The glue gun didn't feel all that hot, and I didn't see any marks. Fast forward to a couple days later, as I am washing Karter's hands after lunch I see a big bubble, and it's half popped. Ugh. Poor kid. Perhaps he actually got some glue on it, as that would cause more burns than the not-too-hot gun. So for the last week we've been attempting to put creams and bandaids on, easier said than done on a one year old. He pulls them off, bites them off, sucks on them. Gross. I finally took to 2 bandaids and taping it around both fingers, he kept that on for a few days. It looks like it's healing, skin peeling, red underneath, but i just want to make sure it doesn't get infected. Fun times with kids. And it's not that I'm not paying attention (as I type this Karter is still sleeping and Kian is right there playing legos) it's partly because Kian is too smart and independent about things and partly because...boys will be boys right?

So...yeah...

2010-12-14T08:11:00.004-05:00

Another bunch of random updates, from the house of random.

Karter's pediatrician called me yesterday afternoon to give me the results of all the blood work. He said that everything (cystic fibrosis, thyroid, iron, celiac's disease) all came out negative. The allergies (soy, wheat, peanut, corn, etc.) were fine, at zero. However, Karter came out with a Level 2 egg allergy! We were not expecting that at all! I said that is one of his favorite foods! Ugh. Level 2 means that it's mild, and in baked goods, etc should not bother him, but he said we might want to avoid scrambled eggs directly, or watch closely how it might bother him. Great. You mean after he had it twice on Sunday (some breakfast and finished them for lunch?) Wonderful. Also, this means he isn't allergic to these foods; however it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't have a sensitivity towards these foods. And if there is a sensitivity to certain foods it still can mean reflux, or cause reflux to worsen if he does have it. So we keep our appointment on January 7th (the earliest we could get in) at Strong for the gastric emptying study. Fun. Also, I am still supposed to bring a nice poopy diaper to the office for testing...easier said than done when I'm down here...blah! So he said he's probably just small, because he's just small...but if it's reflux, we'll give him meds and that will definitely help.

I have been watching his language a bit, and it's probably more comparison to Kian's overzealous language bursts by 15 months, that makes me watch. Kian had at least 30 words (word approximations) at his 15 month appointment. Karter had about 10. Also some words he had said before, he doesn't always say again. Then, this week he's added some new words (tree, uh oh, night night) and his other words have become clearer--cookie is very clear! And I try to remember that all my kids can't be above average in their speech. ;) Karter excels in other areas--he's used a spoon and fork properly since 12 months, he climbs on everything, and jumps off the step stool. He, since around his birthday, refuses to brush his teeth unless we put toothpaste on it, and points to it. His fine motor and even gross motor skills are seemingly better than Kian's at this age, so I tell myself to chill out and just see what happens.

In other news...Kian...delightful, yet challenging... The kid, is just too smart. Like, he knows how to (tries) outsmart us. Kevin has a bad habit of calling the dog an idiot. Well, that means Kian now says that word, well tried to, but got in trouble for it. However, he thinks that if he says "dogiot" or "catiot" it's not the same as idiot and he'll get away with it. Same with stupid becoming "poopid". Wrong bucko! I'm on to ya.

Kevin brought all his old legos here from his mom's house and we were going to put them away until the boys were bigger. Well, Kian wouldn't let that happen. So, he's been playing with them non-stop. Literally, hours each day. I have to make him put them away to do other things. It's great for him and for me when I can get a few minutes to do things without putting the tv on. He is really creative with them. I didn't think he'd be able to do a lot with them, or just build towers. Nope, he's got super long trucks with 20 wheels, castles, pirate ships, airplanes and boats. It's neat to watch and see what he comes up with. They must stay on the table so Karter and the dog don't get them though. Kevin enjoys it as much as Kian does. Karter has got his hands on some and actually does well with them too, not in his mouth and likes to "build" things and play with the guys.

Kian's into spelling everything and telling me what things say. He's also into telling what presents we bought for people. Luckily he doesn't exactly know what they are...told Kevin we got him a scary movie. Okay, you think that ;) Crafts are still high on the list, so we did some dough ornaments this weekend. They came out great, and we painted them and we'll give a few as gifts. However, I feel like they might break, like more than they should feel that way...if that makes sense? Like, I thought I'd be able to mail some, but now I don't trust it. Who wants to get a broken dough ornament in the mail? Exactly. And on Sunday, it will be exactly one year since Kian had his first and only ever, real haircut. !! He wants it longer, I don't really care what he does with it, as long as he keeps it out of his face. It's about to that point where it's not anymore. First Kevin said let it go, now he thinks we should cut it. We shall see. The first time ever last week he got called a girl. Karter has a few times too, mostly because he's bald with a few curls in the back, I guess. If they can't tell my boys in blues and trucks and camo are boys, eh that's their problem.

Onto our daily randomness...cookie baking starts now!

quick update from the snow-blasted state

2010-12-07T22:20:00.003-05:00

I can't say I miss all the lake effect snow up in Rochester. While they were getting pummeled with it the last few days we haven't had half as much...plus it has been so windy it just blows away into a drift on the one side of the yard. I had to drive up through it all, one particularly bad spot near East Rochester/Pittsford exits of 490, were so snowy I couldn't see well and the roads were terribly covered. One lady spun out a few cars in front of me and ended up smashing her back end into the guard rail. But after that, it was fine.

I ventured up on this snowy, freezing, crummy day for Karter's 15 month check. Uhhh. Got there with time to spare, even though it was slow going. But the usually timely doctor was late getting in our room. It is very hard to entertain a 1 and 3 year old in a 10x10 room for very long, with only 2 toys and 3 books. Yeah. And because he was now running behind, I don't feel I got to talk and discuss as much as I would have liked to, or usually get to.

The stats: Head size-26th perentile, fine. Height: 30.25 inches-25th percentile, fine. Weight: sigh. 19lbs. Not even near the chart. Like, more than 5% under it.

So we discussed my concerns--not eating much, sleeping too much during the day, not sleeping at night well, how it's related to food, possible reflux, my thoughts about delayed gastric emptying (something I've wondered about since he started solids, which is when all these problems surfaced) blood work, tests, etc.

We decided to do some more food allergy testing (blood tests) for egg, corn, soy, wheat (since Kevin is also being tested for Celiac's after his hospital stint and colonoscopy and tummy troubles, probably not it, but you never know). Problem is he might not be allergic to foods, but just intolerant or sensitive, which will not show up on tests. Ugh. And that might mean he can have small amounts but not large amounts, etc. Also in that blood tests, which they took 5, yep that's right, 5! vials will be: thyroid, celiac's, iron, general inflammation in his body, general blood counts, other allergy flags, etc.

He asked if we wanted to try prevacid again for the reflux but I said I'd like to know if that's really what we're dealing with or something else in his digestive system. So we're doing a Scinta scan (spelling?) which is where Karter will swallow some dye stuff, and we will see if it goes up for reflux and how long it takes to go through his system, if it's delayed, too fast, etc. They also want me to bring a dirty diaper for testing for malabsorption issues, etc.

Until then and until results, I continue to play with his diet. I find a high protein diet with low carbs, no/very low dairy, with fruits and vegetables that he likes and won't have ill affects (citrus, etc.) seem to do the best with him and he's happiest those days and sometimes sleeps better. His sleep is such that he prefers to really eat around 8:30, which is usually after he's gone to bed, then eat/nurse a few times in the late night, and then sleep soundly from like 3-9am. I suppose it's probably reflux related as by the early to late morning all acid would be gone from his system and allowing him to sleep. Not fun at all.

Okay I said this was going to be quick....besides Karter who has now added a few words to his vocab-uh oh, cookie, tree, Kee (Kian) and another I don't remember...and has gotten his 2 top molars and working on the bottom (backwards from Kiain and most other kids I think they usually get bottom first)... we put up 2 trees. The nice artificial one my grandparents left--that's our "pretty" one with ribbon and just silver balls and crystal ornaments. Then Sunday we picked the coldest, windiest day of the entire year to get a tree on the windiest, coldest hill on Canandaigua lake with Patrick and Savannah. Karter was fine in my Ergo carrier on my back in a snowsuit. Kian was fine at first but cheeks got pretty frozen and he got pretty tired from running in all that snow. Finn came along and he and Zoey and Duke ran around like maniacs in and out of the trees. He slept the rest of the day I think, tired dog. He loves the snow! Loves running, rolling, eating, jumping, digging in it, it's fun to watch.

The boys are loving the Christmas decorations-especially the "activity sets" as Kian calls the Nativities. We have 3 or 4 and they play with them all the time. Kian collected all the baby Jesus' and then put them in little present boxes under the tree. I think that's a fitting thing for the real reason for the holiday actually...

My shopping is almost done. We can't do a lot this year, as I would like to, but with 2 houses still on our plates, blah! I did mostly online shopping using www.ebates.com (I get cash back for everything I buy through that site! It's sweet!) and all the free shipping, coupon codes, etc. it was just so worth it to not drag 2 little, sticky-fingered, getting all crabby and tied and hungry boys, who will see their presents, or see things they want, or hate getting in and out of the car a billion times. Directly to my door with one click and it's done. I think I only had to go to Target for one thing and BJ's for another. Score. Kian still found my hiding spot and saw some of his. I wonder how long he'll buy the "it's for your cousin" story? Especially since he only has 2 so far! ha!

Well...that's my "quick" update, after a very long, busy day all over 2 counties...I'm off to bed!

Conversations with Kian-bathroom edition

2010-11-30T20:54:00.003-05:00

In BJ's, Kian tells me he has to go potty. I take him to the front of the store and bring him to the women's bathroom. He has a little tantrum:
Kian: I HAVE to go in the BOYS bathroom, Mommy!
Me: You can when you are bigger, but I can't go in there with you and you need to go in the girls'.
Kian: No! I am a BOY, I am not a GIRL! I will go in the boys' bathroom!
Sigh. Karter is strapped in cart still, as I usually let him go in the women's and just stand in the door and watch.
....waiting....hear toilet flush...waiting....waiting...great a man is going in there...getting nervous, all kinds of terrible thoughts come in my head....thinking about yelling in there...man comes out quickly.
Me: Is there a little boy in there?
Man: Yes, he's just standing at the sink. I"ll stand in the door, you can get him.

Kian: I have to wash my hands!
Me: You can do it in the girls' bathroom.
Kian: No! the boys! No! That man was going to help me! I was waiting for someone to help me and he was going to help me!
Me: No, he was not and you can't just stand at the sink expecting strangers to wash your hands.
Kian: Yes I can!
Me: No, from now on you go in the girls' with me.
Kian: I'm NOT a girl!

While Karter and I finished dinner this evening, Kian went to use the bathroom. Kevin went to check on him.
Kevin: Are you almost done buddy? Do you need help?
Kian: I do not need help. I am having diarrhea.
Kevin: You are?
Kian: Yes diarrhea is when your poop is mushy and doesn't stay together like a snake, and mine is not staying together, so I have diarrhea, that must mean I am sick.
Kevin: Oh...I don't think you have diarrhea....I don't think you're sick.
Kian: Yes, I do. Mommy, I am sick, I have diarrhea.
Me: thanks, I was eating.

When Kevin asked Kian what he likes about Grandpa for his 60th birthday, or something funny that grandpa says or does, Kian answers: "He says poop-crap and is funny". Oy.

Then Kian and I relay the story about the BJ's bathroom to Kevin. Kevin is not amused and tells him not to run into the boys' bathroom alone again, that he could get hurt or some people might not be nice, etc. Kian comes out to me and says: "I am sorry I ran into the boys' bathroom without you mommy, it's just that I am not a girl, I am a boy, so I didn't want to be in the girls' bathroom, you know?"

It's just that? You know? poop talk? Too much for me. Stick a fork in me.

Funk-y randomness

2010-11-23T14:06:00.003-05:00

I have been in kind of a funk earlier this month. Not exactly sure why. Once the dust settled from packing, moving and unpacking and everything was in it's place, I felt pretty blah. Not very explainable I know. I was (still kind of am) getting frustrated with the lack of resources, lack of ability to find anything for Kian to do around here. Even though I'm closer to my family, it's not the familiar-ness of this place and location that it once was. A lot has changed around here. I've been gone 11 years. I had made Rochester (Chili/Spencerport) my home and yes this is what we wanted to do, but it's still change. In Ogden I had so many options because were were 5 minutes from Gates, Spencerport, Chili, etc. so that there was always something to do. Not that we have to do something every day, but in the winter it's nice to get out and burn off energy for the kids.

I did finally find some programs at the Y, that I can get Kian in without being a member, just for a few dollars more. He went for the first time Thursday. He didn't even want me to stay the first time, not even a few minutes; went right in and sat at the table with the other little boy. When he got home he asked me when there was more preschool for him. He's definitely his father's social butterfly kid. Now, I just need more mom friends that are available during the day...

Of course the holidays are upon us, which is more change with what we're doing and what we did in past years. Too much figuring out, who's where, when, what, etc. I'm glad to not get up early Thanksgiving morning, go to one place then drive an hour and eat another huge meal. Relaxing in your own home, smelling the deliciousness and watching the parade and having 30 people come to you? that's where it's at. ha!

And the days I lack motivation to follow around a 3.5 yr old, a 1 yr old and a 8 month old dog in their path of mass destruction...yeah those are bad days. I think I just didn't have a focus after moving and needed a regrouping. Sometimes being a stay at home mom is even more daunting than being at work, and instead of schlepping through it, I do nothing. But, now that everyone is healthy and we've got our focus back and things on the calendar and some mini "home preschooling" things we're going to accomplish I feel much better. Lists and calendars are my friends. I need visuals to see what we're doing and when and how much time we have. That also helps with the enormity of cleaning and upkeep in this house. So much more than the other house and more maintenance, etc. But, we're back on track. And the best part is, I've knocked out both boys, and a 3-4 other people on my Christmas list already with online deals! Woo!

Now I'm off to cook squash and do lots of laundry....

My big boy's update

2010-11-16T09:12:00.003-05:00

Can't forget my Kian boy. Lately him and I are either best friends or...well let's just say it ain't pretty. How these kids can be so much like me and Kevin at the same time? Incredible. And when they show our worst features all at once? Eek, look out. Really, Kian's a sweet boy, who knows so much and wants to know much more. He is the first to tease Karter and the first to defend and protect him. It's ironically sweet. He definitely knows which buttons to push to get us and how to try to smooth it over.

The kid's strong point has always been his language. He has a knack for using big words and using them correctly. He remembers everything and i mean everything we say (and do) and it will come out later, especially if you didn't want him to hear it. He will try to talk his way out of anything, explaining and promising, to get out of a consequence after a bad behavior act. But, it also means he wants to know everything, asks a million questions and how and why and where and when about everything in this world. It's great, but sometimes I do ask him if his mouth ever just closes for a few seconds? It doesn't, in case you wondered, unless he's sleeping and even then he's been heard to talk in his sleep. His questions and thoughts are deep and stretch me at times. Kian's always asking about God, heaven, if God can play toys with him, that he wants God in our house, and so many more philosophical things, leaving me grasping at straws sometimes with his longing for tangible answers. He really wants to know how things work and why and he doesn't settle for cotton candy answers. I love that about him, even though it makes me work hard to get him that answer.

Dinosaurs are his "thing" right now. And animals in general, but especially zoo type, ones we don't have around here. He loves carrying around these huge wildlife facts books we had as kids and telling me what lions eat, where this bird lives, etc. Kourtney gave us a Zoo tycoon game and him and I spend (too much) time playing it and learning which animals need which habitats and what they eat, and so on. He's good a picking out which animals we should have in our zoos and where they should be and who they should be next too. And arts and crafts are another favorite. He's very creative with how he does things and what he wants to do.

His motor skills are where they should be, but it's not like a baby where you can track progress each month. He can ride a trike, jumps everywhere, loves throwing the balls and frisbees for the dogs. He also is very independent in his -I get stuck in Early Intervention/work mode and want to say "self-help" skills or daily living skills- and can pour himself a drink from the carton of juice or milk. He's a great help (or tries to be) when we cook. As long as he doesn't try to improve the recipe like he did tonight, by dumping a ton of black pepper in the biscuit mix. Spicy! He sets the table and clears plates. He helps Karter get a drink or gives him food. He not only dresses and undresses himself (and has for a long time) but helps Karter as well. (Even though Karter has been undressing himself for awhile too.) He is beginning to "write" some letters. They're still very "neanderthal" but my mom could make out the "MEMA" on her card last month. Love this constant change and learning.

Today he told me Karter is his "best pal", and so is the big toad that lives in the garden outside our kitchen. I think that's sweet, but also that I need to get him around more kids. (Girls-he did say Tyler and Sammy are his friends too, whew!) He definitely struggles with wanting to be a baby like Karter, and wanting me to do everything for him, and being independent and doing it all on his own and being a "big boy". If we say little boy he corrects us, it's big boy. Somedays I just go with it, and somedays we talk about it and the pros and cons of each. I am signing him up for a group at the Y. It's only one hour a week, but it's without parents for 3-4 year olds, just a theme, letter, song, art thing. I think it will be good for him. He's more social than I expected I guess-Karter is the shy, homebody like me I suppose. And since he was in daycare the majority of his life, up until 6 months ago, it's what he was used to, perhaps.

I love this boy, even sometimes when we're at odds and I don't always seem to "like" him at that moment. He's a great helper, a confident go-getter, unlike his parents he's pretty decisive, loves to be our shadow, and likes to push the envelope, persevering. These traits, when directed properly are going to take him far in life.

Karter baby update

2010-11-15T08:55:00.002-05:00

Karter baby, yes we all still call him that and probably will until another baby arrives in this house. Which will be awhile, especially if Kevin has anything to say about it...and he does.

Well, Karter has really come into his own, out of his passiveness and into his own big personality. He usually is still quiet content, more passive and observing, especially when we're out. But, lately watch out! He's becoming intense when he wants to be or needs to be. It's interesting to watch it all develop. He is opposite Kian in many things, including skills he's accomplished at this age, but yet I see some of the same traits. Although, these traits didn't come out in Kian until more recently! I guess he knows he's gotta fight to keep up with big brother and be heard.

Can't reach what he wants? Doesn't like the dog or someone taking his things away? Screeching. Loudly. We get it. He's also been slapping and I am not liking that. Tantrums have occurred since 12 months. Throwing himself on the floor, kicking, crying and throwing anything in his way. Luckily this is a very rare thing, usually when he's overtired and can't have his way or someone messes with him.

He's still a peanut, weighing in at about 19 lbs, and his 12 month clothes are still large on him. Oh well, more use out of them right? But, his small size doesn't stop him. Oh no. He's doing some physical things that Kian did not accomplish until later on. For the last month or so he's been climbing in and out of the bathtub. Kian didn't try that until after 18 months at least. He's been using a spoon and fork, pretty well, since just after his birthday. That is impressive to me, as most kids, and yes Kian didn't even want to attempt it until 18 mos. His fine and gross motor skills are ahead of Kian's for sure but his language is not. It's very interesting to see the differences, and not just to compare, but to see how different 2 boys from the same parents can be. Kian was more verbal at this age. Karter is verbal but not necessarily with words yet. He does say some--Hot being his favorite (even for cold or dangerous/yucky things) mama, dada, kitty, doggy, sheep, woof woof, all done, yuck, up, something that's for fish, rocky, hi, bye, and a kee or gee for Kian, cup, cracker, eat, book, and so on.

Favorite toys? Whatever Kian plays with. I put away a lot of baby/toddler toys already because he just doesn't play with them anymore. Cars and trucks are his favorite right now. He loves books. And music. Any kind, anywhere, all of it. He puts his little pointer fingers out and looks like a little conductor whenever he hears any music, or even the bass of a car driving by. And rocks, don't forget rock and sticks. Such a boy.

Eating however, is still hit or miss. He's got his favorite--crackers, bananas, apples, pb&j sandwiches, and beans-any and all types of beans, especially black or refried. He likes chicken and ground beef. But, I'm afraid he will be pickier than Kian, but I still keep introducing and giving him whatever we have and all the veggies and fruits. Some he chews then spits out. Boy is good at chewing apples then only spitting out the skins. Impressive. I'm not so worried about the weight and eating, he'll get there and if he never gets chubby he'll never be obese right? No worries.

Karter is still very much the baby and he lets us know it. He is the best snuggler in the world. After adventuring out on his own, he always come back for some hugs and thumb sucking on our laps. He doesn't like to sleep alone, or gets cold and needs to snuggle with us. Really, in the scheme of things, spending some time in our bed is the least of our worries and co-sleeping is making a comeback right? For us, it's about whatever gets us all the most amount of sleep. And for this very affectionate, sensitive at times, emotional baby turned toddler, we'll help him come along until he's ready on his own. He doesn't really ever leave me so he's very attached, or maybe he's very attached so I don't ever leave him much. Probably the latter. Maybe because Kian was in daycare for awhile by the same age, or just different personalities. It's a balance between helping him be comfortable with other people, and not causing great upset and torment. He's definitely easily upset. I think he'll outgrow that eventually. Leaving him in the church nursery is being done in baby steps. I have started leaving him the last half hour. The first time he was in shaking sobs by the time I got to him. This Sunday he had some tears but not sobs when I came back. He will not go to someone he hasn't seen lately or doesn't know. Kian was definitely more social. Sometimes I enjoy that, sometimes not!

Both of my boys march to the beat of their own drum. Karter is sometimes a follower of Kian, sometimes he really just wants to do his own thing. It's such an interesting dynamic. But, we wouldn't have it any other way. Karter brings a lot of joy and we are definitely blessed.

Teach a man to fish...

2010-11-09T17:24:00.002-05:00

and that's all he'll ever be doing!

Preseason

2010-11-08T11:54:00.002-05:00

Obsessed with success

2010-11-06T12:45:00.001-04:00

Who isn't really? I'm not really a perfectionist, but I am in the way that if I can't complete something how I want to, how it should be, so it's just right, I give up. I don't need to do everything, all the time perfectly but some things. And, so it is with kids.

I have a constant struggle inside of me to either have perfect looking kids on the outside, or "who cares if they're a bit dirty with messy hair", daily, even when going out. It's continuous conflict in wanting them to succeed, in wanting to look like the perfect parent, but to live real life. I look around and see the obsession with success. It's everywhere. Kids are even feeling it. Kian tells me "I can't" before he even tries. I told him it's okay if we don't get it the first or even 10th time. It's a strange dynamic for sure, because there are times I (regretfully so) even want him to experience failure, not winning, as much as I do the successes and wins.

This morning Karter was playing with the (we've all seen it) plastic bottle of milk that you drop the cookies in the slot on the top. He was having trouble with it, mostly because of the way it was turned. Part of me wanted to just turn it and show him how to push them in again. Part of me wanted to see what he could figure out. Guess what? After a few tries, he rearranged his hands and the bottle and did it. This happened several times after it was full and he would dump them out again. He smiled each time he got it and clapped a few times.

So often we jump in and do for our kids before they can even do for themselves. Without thinking, we are robbing them of great skill, brain connection, creativity, problem-solving and pride. All too often I see moms putting that toy back in the child's reach, pulling the toy out of the box, getting them on and off the couch, reaching something they can't, etc. Yes, there is a time for that, but Stop! Sometimes it's okay if they get frustrated and fuss (yes even the little infants, that's how they figure out how to roll and crawl!). It's okay to not succeed every time. For it is in the failures that we truly learn what we need to do to succeed.

It is an opportunity to build a child's esteem, for practicing skills (hello, language? I talk my kids through almost everything, give them words to use -help, please, open, down, blue, in, etc.--as well as motor skills practice). It lets them conquer something. It allows us to stand back, watch what we teach in action. To bite our tongues, see the authentic child for who he is, not who we want him to be or think he should be and a chance for the child to see we will be their biggest cheerleader and supporter whether they succeed, or fail, because they will sometimes. Just like us, and that's okay.

I also see this in my life and when things happen I ask why, I ask why didn't someone or God stop it, or step in? Because, sometimes we just need to fall. Sometimes it's in the picking ourselves up that creates those unforgettable, life-changing moments.

Karter's 1st birthday

2010-11-05T13:49:00.004-04:00

Yes, he's 14 months now and I am 2 months behind. Ah, probably going to be the rest of my life. Oh well. In true Karter fashion, he welcomed his birthday with passive observation. It takes a lot to get this boy excited, (like cats and dogs) but when he is, he really is. (I will say that has changed in the last 2 months though, he's asserting himself quite a bit lately...more on that in another post.)

Card-throwing is better fun than actually opening anything...

Then he gave me some great shots by the window

Opening gifts from Kevin's parents...

These two are exact clones of Kevin's one year old pictures, it's scary!

His cake, from his favorite book at the time "Deep Blue Sea" by Audrey Woods

There's a brown nut, in the green tree, on the red rock in the middle of the deep blue sea...

Happy 1st birthday my sweet

End of summer pictures

2010-11-01T17:08:00.004-04:00

Excessively behind since it snowed last night and stuck for half of the day today. Yeah...but life calls so I don't get unlimited computer time...

Conversations with Kian--funniest kid

2010-10-26T21:12:00.002-04:00

This kid and I, we're completely the same and completely the opposite in the same breath. Perhaps it's why we butt heads so much, we're both stubborn, very independent and oh so many things, but being a parent to essentially a mini-you is very challenging. But, not without it's rewards. He's hilarious, even without trying to be, and when he is trying to be, it's still pretty funny too.

"pretty sure" is one of his favorite phrases right now, for everything. "I'm pretty sure Finn wants Karter's food", or something similar.

But the one that really got me is this conversation we had Monday night. When you would ask Kian what he wanted to be when he grew up he would say "a shark feeder and a farmer". Then over the last few weeks it morphed into "a shark farmer". Pretty cool, I say. I explained he'd have to take marine biology classes, hehe. He said "yes, I'll go to shark school."

So, after a week of Kevin being home, but not quite available for playing, then going back to work yesterday, Kian was at his um, best for misbehavior Monday. At bedtime, we discussed his behavior, my lack of patience with it, some yelling and consequences that went on, etc. He said "I was naughty because I don't want daddy back to work." I explained that daddy has to work, so mommy can stay home and that so we can eat and such. He looked up at me and said "Well, when I grow up, I am going to be a parent. Then I can stay home." I told him that yes, mommy got to stay home, but I still had jobs to do, like cooking and cleaning and taking care of them. Without missing a beat he says "Well, when I"m a parent and I stay home my job will just be going to the dump. I will throw all the garbage out in the dump."

Ah, I love this kid. Now if we could just get him to understand saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I"m sorry" immediately after he throws his brother off a chair, doesn't quite cut it...

Wild Wings

2010-10-19T21:54:00.003-04:00

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Late in August, we took a trip with friends down to Wild Wings bird sanctuary inside Mendon Ponds Park. We enjoyed looking at all the birds, from hawks (several kinds) to vultures and yes, even a crow. There was also a bobcat (I think!). We then walked the trails and tried to feed the birds. Others were having luck, but I think we might have only had 2 birds eat from our hands. Either way, it was fun! Thought I'd just post a few pictures, since i have a ton to get through! At the end, the kids sat down to look at the Monroe Sheriff's horses. (Yes that means these pictures are backwards, stupid blogger)

ok that's enough now!

2010-10-17T21:44:00.002-04:00

Where to start? Just make it all stop. The boys were a little sick with that diarrhea bug, I got sick for a day or two then we're finally all better. But nooo, so Wednesday night kevin wakes up at midnight with chills, fever, stomach pain and, yep, diarrhea. So he's got the virus worse than the rest of us, okay. But nooo, can't just be that. Fever climbs and climbs, he's got 103 + for 3 days straight with agonizing stomach pain and constant bathroom issues. Finally, we decide to see if we can take him to urgent care Saturday evening. Nope, it's already closed (I don't' get that, in Rochester urgent care centers are usually open later, whatever).

After begging Kourtney and Jeremy back to stay with the boys, I take him to the ER. For a minute I considered taking him to Strong, our beloved, fast, updated hospital. But, Thompson is 5 minutes away. After a round of tests and CT scan, they say he's got "colitis" inflammation in intestines and colon, possibly viral induced, or making sure it's not Crohn's or ulcerative colitis or blah blah blah. They decide he should stay the night (the morning? since it was 3 am already) and I felt bad but he told me to go home before he even was in a room. They started Cipro antibiotics, had 2 bags of fluid, and pain meds, etc. Thought he'd be home after lunch.

Nope. They royally screw up, in my oh-so-humble opinion, start him on a REGULAR diet, just give fluids and antibiotics. Okay every time the Tylenol wears off his fever shoots to 103 again. He's having diarrhea every hour and you give him a regular diet? Finally I get there in the late afternoon (after 3 hours of sleep mind you) start pushing and asking questions. The nurse calls the doctor (who was supposed to do rounds at 4 or 5 and see him) who then changes his diet back to bland/liquids, and concurs he should stay overnight again to get full 24 hours on IV antibiotics before going home, since the fever keeps spiking. The doctor never comes up. Ugh. No offense, but this is why I had that thought about Strong. Residents and doctors coming in like every hour, faster test results, faster everything. Still waiting on cultures and samples, etc. I don't like that he keeps getting such a fever all the time, that's concerning. His stomach pains are better and he's not so dehydrated. So, we'll see what they say tomorrow....

In the meantime, after having just under 4 hour of sleep, Kian woke up the entire household at 8am. Kourtney and Jeremy stayed for awhile, which was a good thing...because while Karter was napping Finn got in his room and locked himself in, (we thought he was sleeping too) and when we found him, he had pooped all over the boy's room--well tracked it all over. SO we commence the steam cleaning of carpets and dog washing. Seriously? Is this happening? After finally sitting down in our bleary-eyed state, the boys are playing, we watch. And we watch Kian pick up Karter and throw him, yes throw him, into the Sit-N-Spin toy. He gets an almost black eye. Great. Fantastic. we're 3 for 3 now.

Then the tenant calls Kevin and says a pipe is leaking or backing up or something in the dishwasher and washer. So, I have to call one of his clients/friends with their plumbing business to come look at it tomorrow, call the tenant. After Kevin's dad already went to take a look at it. And when Kourtney finally went home (after spending all night here, her and Jeremy, after Jeremy had helped his friend -the electrician-hook up the hot tub in the morning) her puppy has a nasty ear infection. Okay. I get it. When it rains, it pours. It's poured. It can stop now. I've had all the "bad" my year is allotted now, so I am only taking "good" for the remainder of the year. Thanks God, bring on the sunshine!

Random rundown

2010-10-11T22:00:00.001-04:00

Well, I'm still working on those 500 pictures I just got off my camera. Kian came down with a fever last Sunday and didn't move off the couch for almost 2 days. Then came the diarrhea for a week. Which, honestly I'll take over puking. Then Thursday Karter came down with it and we're still nearing the end of the diarrhea fest for him. Fun times around here. I was sickly this Sunday but not to the extent of the boys; Kourtney and Jeremy were nice enough to come hang out for a couple hours to wrangle kids and dogs since I felt like crap. There's been a lot of sleeping, napping, tv watching, up at nighting, soup eating and doing nothing around here.

I've also been working on redoing the downstairs bathroom here. With Kourtney's help...we're one heck of a demo team! hehe....about the REdoing and improving...that remains to be seen. It was painted orange and then we all thought it was so hideous that I repainted it, after of course, we decided to rip off the paneling on the lower half of the walls. Yeah, demo=good. We're not finished yet. I ripped up the carpet in there today, pad, tack strips, staples and all, because there MAY have been a, um...spill...a bright orange paint spill on the carpet. So, now it will get tiled. Easy enough I think, since the bathroom is all of like 7x3 feet. Or less.

I've been making apple sauce, apple bars, apple pie, grape juice, canning apples, eating grapes and apples til the cows come home ;) and today i strained a bag of grapes by hand to separate the seeds out because I still don't have a food strainer/mill. I'll make the actual pie tomorrow. Next it's onto the pumpkin everything. I might be a glutton (glutton for punishment or just a glutton for all the food I keep getting) and get more to freeze some apple and pumpkin muffins. And yes I prefer getting pie pumpkins and making it myself.

Eating fresh, preparing it all from scratch is rewarding yes, hard yes, but tastes better, just different. Love it. Since moving back here, everything is easier in some ways. I feel less like I have to live up to the suburban soccer mom's perfect pedicured lifestyle. It's homey. It's not flat and boring either like Rochester haha. But, I do miss the ease of getting around, hopping on the expressways and getting everywhere in 15 minutes, having so much to do close by for the kids, etc. I'm having a very difficult time finding things to do with the boys here, well organized things anyways. There's a library story hour. And...the Y groups. But the cost of the Y stuff is kind of crazy. And the town doesn't sponsor or organize or nothing for kids, except in the summer. Straight from the parks and rec guy. Sigh. Oh well, keep on digging.

Kevin shingled a new roof and fixed leaks on the old house with his cousin and our new tenant Saturday. All day Saturday. Like 7-7 Saturday. I took Kian to his first kid's party for his friend Sammy. He was so thrilled about it and he did well, no freak outs or trying to tear the gifts open, behaved well, thankfully. After that we trekked up to Kevin's mother's house to visit and wait for him for dinner and a long ride home.

Now, we're just waiting for the hot tub to finally get hooked up. After 2 no-show electricians, Kevin's giving up and having Papa take a stab at it. We both are wanting that more than the pool right now. We're both tired lately. Kevin's still doing his "gig" as I call it, through November and then he will be done, and I can talk about it. But for now, he doesn't usually get home before 7pm most nights, even 8pm a few nights. It makes for long days for BOTH of us. The boys and I all miss him, for various reasons. Oh well, temporary pain for long-term gain.

And now that I have successfully stayed up way past my bedtime rambling on about nothing, and taking over an hour to type this between editing pictures, catching up on some sites and news...I have no idea where I'm taking it, where it's going and why I am continuing to type. I shall throw one more load of dirty towels in and wash my purple grape hands. Good thing I had Kiara here this afternoon to pinch grape skins for me!

Watkins Glen camping trip

2010-10-07T15:08:00.005-04:00

Yes, this was about 2 months ago. But, since i just got my computer back with all the pictures on it, you'll have to bear with me!

Best part? The tent, hands down.

Ready for a hike in the Glen at 8 am...yes we were up at 6 that morning...

Best seesaw ever!

Spiderman?

So sweet...

It's not camping if you're not dirty!

He stood up and had a s'more stuck to his butt!

Conversations with Kian

2010-10-02T22:56:00.002-04:00

Ah the dear boy, when not making me crazy, he makes me laugh.

Today, driving by the Mennonite farms on our way to pick apples and grapes I said "Look, Kian, there's a horse and buggy."
From the backseat, his pensive voice says "Oh...there's a horse with a fly on it?"
Haha! I had to explain what a buggy was, not a bug, but a type of wagon pulled by a horse.

The other day he was searching for the Simpson's crazy bandz we got for Kevin and he couldn't remember what it was called. He remembered it was the shape of a bee man, so he asks "Mommy, where is the....the....bee man...hand ring?" Hand ring, bracelet, same thing.

He has decided on a name for his yet to be created baby sister, and while in the store today he informed me we should get some pink shoes for her. I told him we must at least wait until there is a baby in my belly before buying things for said baby...also that we should talk to daddy about this.

Finn's mommy and daddy dog visit sometimes and they get to doing...dog things. Boy pays attention like nobody's business, even if you don't think he's within viewing or hearing range. After bedtime prayers the other night, he paused, looked up at the ceiling and says "Finn should not hump his mommy anymore." After failing to stifle any laughter, I told him yes, but dogs will do what dogs do. Oy vey.

Did I mention on this blog, about the time that he told me "I want you to spank me, if you're nice you can spank me, I like spankings." Oh man. I had teased him and told him he'd be in trouble if he hadn't taken off his diaper from nap time. Seriously, where does he get it?

After getting mad at Kevin for something, he points his finger at him and says "Why don't you just go to your mother's house?". Ha classic.

And the new phrase of the week? "I'm pretty sure..." as in "I'm pretty sure you can give me ..." and "I'm pretty sure that skunk is gone now." etc.

Hypothesis proven

2010-10-02T07:10:00.004-04:00

I just proved the theory that you can teach a kid anything if you flash it in front of him often enough. Kids will memorize anything and have a better brain capacity for that at this young age. Why reading programs seem to be effective. It's why anything is effective. Their memorization and differentiation skills are peaking. Kourtney started teaching Kian the fish on the deck of playing cards on Wednesday. By Thursday night he had learned 37 of them. And that was in 10 minute increments, a few times over the 2 days.

Is it mind-blowing? Not really. It's normal for kids to pick things up easily, which is why their vocabulary explodes from 2 to 3 years old. Do I think my kid is smart? Yes. Do I think he's overly brilliant, brimming with genius (of course I'd like to think so!) but I think he's brilliant in an average sense, and maybe slightly moreso. But, I don't claim him to be a Rhodes scholar yet.

I think I want to test this even further. I think I should get some Chinese characters and teach him to "read Chinese". I bet it can be done. Wanna bet? =)

soon?

2010-09-29T23:47:00.003-04:00

hopefully SOON i will get the call from the computer place about what is wrong with it so I can get it fixed and I can get my own computer back instead of using kevn's laptop, with the keyboard I hate, and I will be able to upload and download and do all my pictures, because I am really having withdrawal. I have camping pictures from August, and Karter's birthday and new house pictures and silly, crazy ones of Kian and Kourtney playing football..um yeah, you WANT to see those...trust me.

hopefully soon, we can get a vacation scheduled. i informed kevin that we will be making a trip to florida soon. how soon? well, not sure, but maybe after the holidays? that is, if the florida relatives want us to come visit! either with or without Kevin, (just because of his work schedule) I really feel it's time to go!

and hopefully soon, now i will get my butt into bed and stop staying up so late for absolutely NO reason at all!

cell phone video dump!

2010-09-24T16:36:00.002-04:00

Here are some videos of the kids now that my phone is finally working!

Karter using a spoon

Karter signing "more" and "eat" super fast because he's super tired.

Karter jumping in the pool

Finn retrieving from the pond

Karter and his birthday cake

Standing (I'll have to get some of him walking now, as I predicted he started full-time walking by the end of last week!)

Kian

Kian jumping in pool

Karter walking, naked bum

technology blow up

2010-09-23T22:17:00.002-04:00

i really just want my hard drive fixed so i can get my pictures up. i haven't done pictures in over a month. it's depressing me.

if that wasn't enough my cell phone was acting stupid for a week. every time i would slide it open (it's a dual slide, awesome phone!) or slide it closed to call or text or anything it would shut off. then it would randomly shut off throughout the day even though the battery said it was charged. finally it was just dead. so we took it into sprint, at eastview, at 7pm, with 2 tired boys. that was not fun let me tell you. and from what we can tell it was just a bad battery, so they sold me a demo one (shh, it's not really allowed, i was special!) and it seems to be working now.

which is good because yesterday no one could have gotten ahold of me even if they really wanted to (but no one every really wants to) because on top of all that, our phone/internet line is bad. like our internet gets dropped every 4 minutes, all day, all night. they tell us that there's a bad line from the pole, which isn't even run straight to the house, it makes a detour at the shop. so frontier is supposed to replace it, well they were like 2 weeks ago. so i have to keep calling and getting on them to get it done. probably dragging their feet because they said they'd do it free of charge. blah. from the pole to the house into my computer. and then the house phone will work too, not give everyone busy signals or drop those calls too.

sometimes i don't' even really mind. then i have no reason to waste time and i get a lot done and spend even more quality time with my kids. ha. I'm halfway back to the "real world". going to drop off my computer tomorrow and get that fixed, or at least get my stuff off it! my camping pictures from august are on there and i need to get them printed. sigh. thanks a lot bill gates and frontier...

neighbors...or lack there of

2010-09-19T20:33:00.003-04:00

I grew up knowing the neighbors and people on our "street" (is a long, winding country road really a street?) but the houses were like a quarter mile apart! Moving into the suburbs with neighbors pretty close on each side was a new thing for me and I was leery of it. A Fence on one side made me feel a bit better. I never knew I could feel the need for segregation...from my neighbors! ha! The neighbors on our east side have 8 acres and woods and a long driveway and were far back from our house. Loved it. And we came to know and really like them. They were our parents' age, with kids the same age as us. Their first grandchild was born a week after Karter even. They brought us baby gifts and veggies from their garden, visited and so did their dog. We enjoyed them and it was nice because it wasn't overwhelming or overbearing and neither of us cared what the other did or got in their business etc.

I was looking forward to not having neighbors close on each side again when we moved here. I thought. But, at times I have this "oh, there's no one to wave at as we pull in and out of the driveway each day" or "hmm...no one to chit chat with at the mailboxes" feeling. It's odd, because I thought I wanted to be completely separated. More so I think I feel I'm keeping Kian and Karter segregated. So very odd how your thinking changes and life changes you. Kian's been asking for more friends so we are going to get on that! So, it's a two-fold/bittersweet type of thing. No more keeping up the lawn with next door because it looks out of wack after he mows, no more freaking out because we're the only ones NOT spraying the dandelions each spring, but no "can I borrow a cup of sugar" or "can you let the dog out while we're at a wedding tonight" either...

On the bight side... I won't have to buy bags of candy and answer the door over 50 times on Halloween, and that my friends, just might make it worth it!