Oops, I forgot

"Oops, I forgot".  That was what the hematologist emailed me back after I asked if he had received the MRI results  yet.  It had been 5 days/3 business days.  He forgot to tell me that everything was completely normal, fine, no issues, negative for anything, etc. etc. etc.  Whew.  I figured as much. I didn't have much concern.

  The actual procedure freaked me out more than anticipation of the results.  The spinal part was okay, I had most of my head sticking out the back, and kept my eyes closed most of the time anyways.  Then, they got me ready for the brain MRI.  The part they're viewing has to be in the middle of the tube. Um, not cool.  There was a head cup to rest my head in, okay.  They gave me a blanket for my cold toes. They gave me music headphones this time along with the ear protectors.  Then just before they pushed me in, they put this helmet thing on my face! AHhh!! no!  I tried to remain calm.  I closed my eyes as they started pushing me in.  She said "oh there's a mirror on the helmet so you can see us."  I looked.  Big mistake. I see a helmet thing over my face, a teeny tiny mirror in front of my eyes, the gray tube so close and that was it.   I tried taking deep breaths and thinking of other things. I chickened out and squeezed the call button.  I told them I had to go to the bathroom.  They said that a lot of people get freaked out by the brain scans and have to come back or get some light sedation.  Not an option for me, either one.  I went to the bathroom, came back. Closed my eyes from the beginning while they set me up all over again. I made grocery lists in my head, listened to the music, debated with myself about the singer, prayed, and focused on breathing.  I do not want to do that again, ever. Ugh.

But, it's over. The doctors have what they want for their records and for their CYA policies (cover your arse). Except I got a call from some peri-operative group at Strong today, they scheduled me for an appointment to talk to the anesthesiologist, in case I need an epidural. UGH! I called the OB office and was like "listen, the whole point of the spinal MRI was to clear it for an emergency epidural, and it did. So I don't think that there's any point to of all this. I have had too many appointments and confusion over all the care and doctors involved."  The nurse said she'd talk to the doctor and get back to me, she thought the doctor had informed me. Um, no, surprise! This is totally getting out of hand.  Even the hematologist said, they're making a mountain of a molehill over there. I don't need to be so medically planned and followed, it's birth, which I have done twice already with no issues, chill out please!

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